thats how we do it in mountain brook

what you say when you break your phone for no reason

New iPhone X thats how we do it in Mountain Brook

25👍 3👎

how fast do I have to walk

Someone asking how fast they have to walk for people to not realize they have dupe shoes. Respond with a joke. I.e. "bro can meditate" or "bro gotta start running💀"

Person 1: bro how fast do I have to walk?
Person 2: you can fucking meditate dude.

Person 1: bro how fast do I gotta walk?
Person 2: Nah you have to teleport or some shit.

38👍 5👎

How Are You Doing Today?

I'm doing good, thank you for asking. How are you doing today?

I just asked you, "How Are You Doing Today?".

how much do I owe ya

A phrase upon uttering of which you effectively rid yourself of an undesired partner after sexual intercourse.

You: Oh baby, that was great. How much do I owe ya?
A girl: Fuck you! I ain't no fucking whore! *leaves*

5👍 7👎

How many do you like in your ear?

A question asked to spot the kinky ones in a group.

Guy: How many do you like in your ear?

Girl: Usually 3 but I can do up to 5 after I’ve had a few drinks ;)

How much lettuce do you want?

Derived from the movie "Bad Santa" this phrase has been ranked in the top most annoying questions. The beauty of it is simple. Most people after being asked repeatedly will get very annoyed, asking what "lettuce" means. In which case you can just say, "just lettuce..?"

Bob- How much lettuce do you want?

Random guy- I dont want none lettttuce!

Bob- o-kay!

6👍 3👎

Hey mom, how are you doing today? :D

A completely normal sentence.

Kid: Hey mom, how are you doing today? :D

Mom: I died 34 years ago

6👍 3👎