UC Irvine Football

A non-existent college football program.

Dodger Mike and Mark Ondo tailgate in the parking lot drinking beverages.

Dodger Mike: Today's the day we end our 25-game losing streak to Riverside!

Mark Ondo: No one fucks with UC Irvine Football! Roll Eaters!

Dodger Mike: Zot! Zot! Zot!

Dodger Mike goes Bills Mafia and breaks a folding table in half.

Mark: That table is DEAD DEAD DEAD! Eaters Mafia Baby!

Dodger Mike and Mark fist bump and then pass out drunk, which causes them to miss the game.

College Footballed

A football term for when an awful team (Professional, College, or High School level) allows 40+ points while simultaneously scoring less than 20 points.

A: Did you see how bad they lost?
B: Yeah, they totally got college footballed.

Football Hand

Doing something in a soft/gentle way

While kissing, he grabbed my hair with a football hand and I liked it.