Random
Source Code
Random
A Holiday created by angry White Anglo Saxon Protestants in response to all the fake holidays that other religions use to get several extra days off from work annually. This holiday falls on the first Friday after the first full moon of August, when the Zombies rise from their graves to raise havok & mayhem.
As a result, the human population tends to gather around sundown on Zombie New Year to throw large, wild parties, hoping their numbers & noise will scare the zombies away. Some people are known to get staggeringly drunk as a form of mockery against the zombie hoards.
At dawn on the Saturday following Zombie New Year, the initial zombies return to their graves, but any humans that they turned continue to walk the earth until they are put down.
It should be noted that, for reasons still unknown, an alcoholic stupor makes it harder for zombies to detect you and, if they do, makes it harder for them to turn you.
Last Zombie New Year, I got so drunk...
"How drunk were you?!"
I was so drunk, I didn't wake up until THIS Zombie New Year!
"Oh, shit, he's a zombie!"
37👍 7👎
Usually a homeless or drug-seeking person who waits in parking lots to acost people for money while they get out of their vehicles. Uneasily detered, they shamble from one car to another much like the living dead.
Man to wife: Oh shit Mary, roll up the window. It's a parking lot zombie!
Wife to man: Oh Harold, I am scared of his staggering gait, his lip smacking, and his wild-eyed stare!
Man to Parking Lot Zombie: (gesturing to an empty wallet)
Parking Lot Zombie: ahgggghhhhhhhuuuuuhhhhhhh(Spots a Lexus SUV pulling up to the Walgreens and heads towards it)
Man to wife: Hurry up and get into the store! Move it! Move it!
41👍 7👎
The most epic thing you could ever imagine, red dead undead nightmare already clarifies that.
once in history unknown by most scholars and historians their was a huge battle between cowboys and zombies raging on for years it was known as cowboys vs. zombies the war against evil
An indistructible being. You will try to fight this being and die...horribly. It will tear you to shreds then sleep with your whole family...shortly after the sex it will then kill them too.
The zombie ninja pirate killed my friend fucked his family and killing them shortly after!?!?? O NOES RUN!!
46👍 11👎
A Person who hate Zombies.
A Person who don't watch or Like Zombie Movies
So, You Hate Zombies?
You're a zombie racist
1👍 3👎
1 Supposed to be a boy kitty, but gets pregnant and is an asshole about it.
2 Constantly demands food, especially yours while you eat it.
3 Doesn't want you to touch it, except in 10 second intervals on its own time, never when you want to. If you try, it hisses, walks to food dish and demands to be fed instead.
Honey, guess what, Mr kitty is pregnant.
Hey cat, that's my pop tart.
Well fine then zombie kitty, if I can't pet you, then you can eat dog food till I'm good and ready to get up and feed you.
1👍 3👎
People who walk around staring at their cell phones oblivious to others around them, thereby making others walk around them so as not to bump into them.
The other day a cell phone zombie crossed the street against a red light and almost got run over.