Had Me In The First Half

When a female has a very attractive face, but her body just ain't it.

Bro that girl had me in the first half, she had a cute face but when I kept swiping through her photos I found out she was fat.

3👍 21👎

but first let me take a selfie

Humanity has finally hit 100% retardedness. A son was actually made about taking a selfie. A girl is in a bathroom taking selfies and talking about boys and throwing up at any chance she can (probably because she balimic ) but that story is for another day. While her friend wants to get out of the bathroom she says "But first let me take a selfie" making her possibly a worse person than Adolf Hitler himself.

Hey shaniqua ?
Yesh babez ?

Want to go outside and get out of this brothel ?

Yesh, But first let me take a selfie !
Wow this girl is sooo ratchet.

24👍 39👎

at least buy me a drink first

A come-back used when someone asks you something personal or inconvenient.

Josh: Hey Delica, can I borrow your scissors?
Delica: Josh! At least buy me a drink first!

8👍 12👎

First time every time

The quote that basically teaches students that you better stfu and behave before a teacher rapes you. Tries making a teacher sound like a bad man

“We do things first time every time! I don’t want to correct your behaviour scholars!”

3👍 25👎

Person who pours milk first

They are horrible

Oh no! He is a person who pours milk first!

3👍 3👎

my first real crush was louis tomlinson

Quote said by the fabulous fetus Harry Styles when an interviewer ask him who was his first real crush, and that was his answer, and you know what? It was actually mutual and they´ve discussed it.

H-"My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson", I- "What he thinks about yet?", H-"Its mutual, we´ve discussed it"

Shoot first ask questions later

Something to Live By? I think So, Many Dead rappers lived by this!

UMMMMMMMM...... I shot him now i will ask questions instead of asking and then shooting???

27👍 75👎