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hairy macaroni

an STD achieved by dropping hair on your friend's macaroni

Dude 1: *eating macaroni*
Dude 2: *drops hair on his macaroni*
Dude 1: dude wtf, you just gave me hairy macaroni...
Dude 2: ah my bad man, you should go see a doctor about that...

by willBIRDMAN March 7, 2011


Hairy Chili Dog

Much like your standard "chili dog", (When a man lays a sloppy shit on a woman's breasts and then titfucks her.) Except this one is usually done on a fat hairy man's chest... or woman if you're lucky enough to find one with a hairy chest.

"Dude, I keep finding chesthair dingle-berries embedded in my pubs after I gave that guy David a Hairy Chili Dog!"

by Word Smartist January 26, 2022


Big Hairy Monkey Balls

Ballsacks from big monkeys with a lot of testicle hair

Jimmy: Tyrone has big hairy monkey balls
Tyrone: Thank you Jimmy
*they proceeded to fuck for 3 days straight*

by jongWITHtheSHLONG April 6, 2023


hairy bummer

Something that turns out to be even worse than expected (the expected bad thing just being a "bummer").

I thought my dole money had just been delayed, but it turns out it's been cut off altogether - what a hairy bummer!

by prairiefire June 10, 2010


Hairy Wacket

A penis so hairy that when you're done performing oral sex, a plethora of pubes are caught in your teeth. Also common to have bumps on the scrotum.

His hairy wacket was so hairy that I could take a weed eater to it and there would still be hair.

by Weenar March 11, 2013


Occam's Hairy Dildo

A rule that, like Occam's Razor, requires you to favor the simplest explanations over the complex ones, but with the addition of also favoring the sexiest explanations over the mundane ones. An explanation of a thing is using Occam's Hairy Dildo if and only if simplification and sexualization are paired together into a beautiful, explanatory nutsack.

Student: Hey professor, can you please explain that notion using Occam's Hairy Dildo, because it's a little hard for me to grasp without visual aides.

Professor: Hell yea! I got you, fam.

by Carnivorous Pencil February 19, 2021


Hairy Morris

(n)

1. Act of inflicting pain on someone by forcefully pulling the pubic hair while giving a blowjob.

2. (metaphor) Deceiving someone with a bad or harmful experience while making him think that it was going to be enjoyable or fruitful.

1. I didn't think she noticed at the time, but when Susan gave me that Hairy Morris, I realized that she didn't appreciate me making eyes at her mom.

2. When the company said it was going to take away the sick days and pay them out instead, people were initially happy, until they realized that they'd have to use vacation time as sick days now. The new policy turned out to be a real Hairy Morris.

by Maddermonk February 9, 2011