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Someone who lives in Tinley Park and thinks that he is the coolest person alive and can bag on everyone, but is really a loser with no life and a sick, twisted mind.
35👍 18👎
When calling into a suicide hotline, you jerk off as you tell the operator your story. As you get more emotional, you increase the speed of you jerking off. For those who are participating in this act, it kills two birds with one stone by relieving stress and having some sexual action.
As I told the operator my sob story, I came closer and closer to cumming, all while telling her about how I wanted to kill myself. The suicide hotline jerk has saved me many many times.
23👍 10👎
an accidental gropeing of a womans breasts while moving through a dense crowd
fucking hell mate did you see that? squeezing past that bird at the bar i had an uncalculated nipple jerk, loved it.
9👍 3👎
A circle jerk that occurs in a Google+ huddle.
Guys, it'll be ok when all of us here at the fraternity move away after graduation, after all, we can still Google circle jerk.
9👍 3👎
If you think of the skateboarding move "stalefish" where you reach behind your legs, and grab your board this manouver is adapted into masturbation.
Go jerk off stalefish!!!
Person 1. "Whys he taking so long?"
Person 2. "I dunno, he's probably jerking off stalefish"
25👍 13👎
Someone who wouldn't steal a pencil from work but chops up anyone who doesn't fit his idea of a moral person. Meanwhile he breaks as many moral conduct rules as the next guy only in his mind those don't matter. Someone who will judge you harshly for a slight indiscretion and will jump to conclusions from incomplete evidence.
Jo Jo - "Man Joe is a dick. He accused me of cheating on an exam because he heard it from Dave who is a chronic liar. Meanwhile Joe is eyeballing Freddie's wife when he's not around."
Terry - " Yeah. Joe is a selective moral jerk. I hope Freddie punches him in the mouth."
6👍 1👎
A game where 3 bros have to drink a 40 as fast as possible and the loser has to jerk the other 2 off simultaneously, then whoever cums last has to eat both loads off of a biscuit.
Hey bros wanna play Edward jerk hands tonight?
Sure as long as the biscuit is a chocolate digestive!
5👍 1👎