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A pump gift is similar to a push gift in which woman receive a gift for giving birth. The pump gift is similar but more exclusive to the man who had to go through the difficult effort in pumping out millions of fertile sperm and making it into the vagina instead of the face, back, anus or sock. The gift should be off high value and should include blow jobs for life without question or consent.
Woman: Hey honey where is my push present?
Man: You just pushed it out.... Your welcome.
Now where is my pump gift?
Woman: *gets on knees* to deliver pump present gift.
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"Damn, he really was a one pump chump... I wanted to keep going"
"Busted after five seconds, what a one pump chump"
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latin: immunda ientaculum
Adding a little southern twist to the traditional British tea bag, the woman brings the man's testicles into her mouth while facing his backside. As she performs a handjob while "tea-bagging" him, the man should flatulate as much as possible. With her face buried deep in his behind, the man's wind will provide an odorous addition for the woman.
From: "Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex"
I think the key to surviving a Dirty Gas Pump is breath control. Eventually you learn when to breathe through the nose, alternating with removing the balls, for deep breaths through the mouth. It's not hard, but until you get the hang of it, it's not pleasant.
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when yoru are teabaggin a girl and her nose is in your ass and you fart.
When i was with that girl last night i gave her a dirty gas pump.
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The Two Pump Rule has been created in honor of all those christians who feel guilty about having sex even if the guy just put his penis in once and then they felt bad and stopped. Do not worry my fellow christians, you did not have sex because a penis must be inserted into the vagina two times to have had sex. The head of the penis must totally be inside to count as a pump. If she is a virgin and you give only two pumps but break the hymen then well done, you have pooped her cherry without having sex with her.
Example 1:
Sally: I'm pregnant with your baby
John: Bitch, no your not
Sally: Your the only one I have has sex with
John: We didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because I got mines within two pumps
Sally: What?
John: Yeah bitch, "The Two Pump Rule", now get the fuck out my house cause I'm not the father.
Example 2:
Jack: Did you fuck my Wife!!!!!!
Matt: No
Matt: (thinking to himself)- I did not fuck her because I jacked off in the bathroom until I was almost about to cum and then went onto the bed and put it in her and ejaculated on the second pump...therefore I did not fuck her....thanks to The Two Pump Rule
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