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The act of beating someone who is so slow even though you are incredibly slow yourself. Or is a procrastinator accomplishes a task before another procrastinator.
JPow was the worst procrastinator in the history of the world, but, he still managed to turtle smoke Lei-hi by completing his task of shucking his pile of corn stalks before her. ...thus, Leigha has been turtle smoked...
When it’s cold out and your dick comes back up inside you
Turtle season is coming!
The little puff of air you do just before you poo.
I didn't get a chance to go, I only just did a turtle breath before I had to run out of the toilet.
The Story of The Turtle of Life:
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
The Turtle of Life Pwn3d that noob .
1)Someone who get sexual pleasure from imagining a turtle.
Girl-come on Johnny, how do I get you turned on?
Johnny-I don't know
Girl-well I'm gonna go feed my turtle
Johnny-IT'S HAPPENING!!!! *fap fap fap fap* turtles.........it's the turtles!!!!!! They're so wrinkly and slow!!! It gets me hot!!!! OMG! I think I'm a turtle-loafer!!!
Girl-I'm glad to her that! Because I have a thing for slow wrinkly things too!
The fucking coolest shit ever. Like bro. Don’t even.
“Hey Veronica, I just wanted to tell you that I think I love you. You’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Yo that’s total Turtle Shit bro! I fucking love you.”
When two consenting adults share in the loving act of pressing their assholes together, while simultaneously shitting. Usually a competitive endeavor, with the winner being the one to be covered in the least amount of the others shit.
Travis is the ultimate turtle wedding champion. I don’t know if he can be beat.
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