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He is the son of Crust God. He was crucified for our memes and came back on the 3rd day to teach his diciples to spread the teachings Crust. Never touch his sock because if you do he will anally rape with a stick while screeching “REEEEEEEEEEE!”
I pray to thee, our lord Jesus Crust.
A person who sobers the mood of a post by tying the subject back to Jesus/God/Christianity. Can be completed with biblical quotes or an overall feeling of Christian guilt.
Steve: Check it out, I planked the water fountain!
Terry: That shit is so fucking stupid, man
John: We should all thank Him for having the full mobility of our bodies to be able to do such things. Some people don't have that luxury.
Steve: John, you're such a Jesus Troll.
A group of 12 people who were brought up as catholic/christian. They rebel the rules and are hard core atheists. They meet for a 'Jesus Party' Where they drink white wine and talk about the future dread. Once they're riled up; considering there's no crucifixes they just decide to have an orgy. (Jesus is the safe word)
OMG this orgy is so good, Ouch thats too big for my bum!! Jesus, Jesus!! Thank you for respecting my safe word and stopping. This is historically known as many different names and events, but this is the most fun. Look in in the mirror in the dark and say 'Jesus Party' 3 times then open your eyes and you will be at the event. You wont regret it.
The handles inside a car by the seats that be hung on to when swerving around tight corners and yelling "JESUS!"
Alice hung on with all her might to the Jesus Handles and yelled the accompanying expression as Luke took a tight corner.
Passing out drunk in a tub of water leaving potential for drowning and meeting Jesus
I was so drunk last night that I was sleeping with Jesus
Elated in a religious fashion mostly found in born again christians and recovering alchoholics. Constantly preaching christian values and quoting the bible.
Your mom is so high on jesus I can't stand it.
A rather sarcastic turn of phrase showing an unsympathetic attitude towards a person.
- Some twat stole that garden my dad bought for a fiver.
- Oh how Jesus fucking wept.