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When someone on chat says "BRB" and doesn't return for days.
Buddy: Hey bro, brb.
Friend: Aight, I'll be waiting
*3 days pass*
Buddy: Oh hey dude, i'm back, wassup?
Friend: DUDE, IT'S ALREADY THURSDAY, NICE JOB PULLING A JESUS!
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When a song, movie, or attractive person you meet at a bar all of the sudden goes all Churchy when you aren't expecting it. Like a Rick Roll, but the surprise is Jesus.
I was totally hitting it off with this girl, then she had to leave early to go to church. Jesus Rolled!
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He is the son of Crust God. He was crucified for our memes and came back on the 3rd day to teach his diciples to spread the teachings Crust. Never touch his sock because if you do he will anally rape with a stick while screeching “REEEEEEEEEEE!”
I pray to thee, our lord Jesus Crust.
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Passing out drunk in a tub of water leaving potential for drowning and meeting Jesus
I was so drunk last night that I was sleeping with Jesus
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The Jesus Prayer is an invocation largely used by the Eastern Christian Church, particularly the Eastern Orthodox Church. It is prayed as, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
Neil recited the Jesus Prayer using his prayer beads.
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A person who sobers the mood of a post by tying the subject back to Jesus/God/Christianity. Can be completed with biblical quotes or an overall feeling of Christian guilt.
Steve: Check it out, I planked the water fountain!
Terry: That shit is so fucking stupid, man
John: We should all thank Him for having the full mobility of our bodies to be able to do such things. Some people don't have that luxury.
Steve: John, you're such a Jesus Troll.
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A group of 12 people who were brought up as catholic/christian. They rebel the rules and are hard core atheists. They meet for a 'Jesus Party' Where they drink white wine and talk about the future dread. Once they're riled up; considering there's no crucifixes they just decide to have an orgy. (Jesus is the safe word)
OMG this orgy is so good, Ouch thats too big for my bum!! Jesus, Jesus!! Thank you for respecting my safe word and stopping. This is historically known as many different names and events, but this is the most fun. Look in in the mirror in the dark and say 'Jesus Party' 3 times then open your eyes and you will be at the event. You wont regret it.
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