Split Second Splits

Doing the splits quickly and unexpectedly; without warning

(On the ski slope)

Ragnar: Woa, I hate skis!

Nathan: Now why would you say that?

Ragnar: I just did the split second splits!

2👍 1👎

Five-second-role

The time it takes for food dropped on the ground to become infected with germs (five seconds). If picked up before this time, the food is fine.

Person A: "Oops, I dropped my chip on the ground."

Person B: "Don't worry, five-second-role."

2👍 1👎

second-hand 4chan

a 4chan-based meme that is found on an image aggregator and posted on a social networking site

Please don't post a rageguy comic from funnyjunk on my facebook page, that's second-hand 4chan

2👍 1👎

2 second pumper

When you have sex
With a girl and you cum after like 3 seconds worth of humping.

My bf is such a "2 second pumper"

2👍 1👎

second wake up

The most horrible thing in the world. It's when your mum wakes you up once but you keep on sleeping knowing she'll comeback and wake you up again. The gnawing sensation of waiting for her till she comes back is...so bad.

Me: aw man my mum gave me a second wake up today.
Josh: dude, how're you feeling?

2👍 1👎

Three Second Walrus

A large, glittery walrus that appears can appear anywhere and at any time, but for three seconds only. It is fond of slaughtering things and consequentially said appearances often end in three second massacres. The three second rule makes no difference to him.

"I narrowly escaped getting killed by the three second walrus!"

2👍 1👎

Second law of homodynamics

The second law of Homodynamics states that the entropy of the gayness in a closed system shall increase over time, and that the odds of someone being gay shall become more likely over time due to the easibility of being gay.

The level of homosexuality increases every time someone says no homo and further research must be done in order to understand how we can limit this pollution. currently due to the first law of homodynamics the big gay cannot be destroyed it can only be transferred meaning that current measures of using gay people to store the homo (through the use of sacrificing themselves to limit pollution through the term "full homo") is ineffective after the person has died as the homo is just released back into the atmosphere further threatening humanities survival. Further research must be completed on homodynamics and how to mitigate the increasing levels of pollution or humanity will perish in the face of the great filter.

You: "I'm terrified is humanity really going to end?"
Friend: "well according to the second law of homodynamics..."
You: "really? oh fuck me..."
Friend: "don't mind if I do"
You: "uhh no homo?"
Friend: "Full homo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "

2👍 1👎