Hairy Loofa

When while in the shower with your girl, she licks the bar of soap then proceeds to clean your gooch/lower ball area with her tongue.

dave- you scrub the gooch?"

you-"who needs scrubbing when i've got my girl and the hairy loofa"

hairy macaroni

an STD achieved by dropping hair on your friend's macaroni

Dude 1: *eating macaroni*
Dude 2: *drops hair on his macaroni*
Dude 1: dude wtf, you just gave me hairy macaroni...
Dude 2: ah my bad man, you should go see a doctor about that...

big hairy monkey

macocne

look at that big hairy monkey over there eating someones cock

The Hairy Knuckle Werther's

When you look alarmingly like an angry, ocularly-challenged, German Shepherd owning bull dyke, and always keep a button in your pocket due to the incessant issue of having to close the rear holes in your pants after you "HAD to stop at THAT out of service, poorly-lit wayside" for HOURS, you're probably familiar with The Hairy Knuckle Werthers:

This is when your favorite boy-crush takes a plaster mold of the hand of the angriest, most extravagantly endowed gorilla at the zoo, and proceeds to fill it with liquified Werther's candy.

Upon hardening (of the candy), your boy crush thrusts the giant black hand-fist into your spelunking tunnel (Most of the other people at The Hardee's Play place pretend not to notice).

Upon germination, you grant your boy crush with a button you've kept in your pocket for years. Quietly exclaiming, "That was better than the time I walked Lassie"

Once Rock Day was done, the spastic guy Tom is all side and told us when Gary got "The Hairy Knuckle Werther's"

Hairies

A U.K. undercover agent, long hair maybe bleached blonde, in some cases abnormally tall due to HGH. Will suck a golf ball through a garden hose for intel. Gives away/ wants to buy drugs.

I’d stay away from those guys in a band who hang around the university, they are hairies.

Hairy

The term that is used to describe your ass crack.

"My ass crack is very hairy"

hairy

noun

1. a derogatory term for a "furry" that isnt actually a furry or a fake furry

2. an individual that uses being a furry as a meat shield or excuse to get away with clickbait/clout chasing, illegal activities (such as beastiality or pedophilia).

guy 1: "hey did you hear about this one furry, anthpo?"
guy 2: "man i hate anthpo, he's such a hairy"