Do I look like an octopus?

Something that your mother says after asking her to do you a favor. Even if she is doing nothing.

Kid: Hey mom can you help me make some lemonade?
Mom: DO I LOOK LIKE AN OCTOPUS?!?
Kid: No.
Mom: Good.

16👍 5👎

look before you leap

When taking a dump, ensuring that there is sufficient toilet paper available before commencing the evacuation.

Dave didn't look before you leap, causing some embarassment.

6👍 24👎

Silly Looking Foo-Foo Drink

The most accurate term for those alcholic beverages with umbrellas and other fancy assorted decorations.

"I'm going to cram this silly lookin foo-foo drink in your boo-boo!"

9👍 2👎

Burning Some Toast (looking for Jesus)

An act in which a person offers random ideas that may somehow be related to a situation, however unlikely, in an effort to stumble upon a good idea. Similar to brainstorming, but when unexpected or unnecessary. Although either the entire phrase or the truncated version is acceptable, the entire is better used in an explanatory sense after a random statement is made.

Derived from the law of averages and the concept that if one looked at enough pieces of burnt toast, eventually one would find toast that appeared to have Jesus on it (or any other object or fictional character said observer desired)

1. Yeah, I know it was random, but I was just burning some toast (looking for Jesus).

2. I'm just burning some toast (looking for Jesus) here, but has anybody considered making a pizza out of a pancake, syrup, hash browns, bacon and sausage? (in this case it might be advisable to drop the clarifying clause for brevity)

9👍 2👎

ur grandma looks hot on a ventilator

you see it’s facts ur grandma looks extra hot on that ventilator but yk what’s hotter ur grandpa in a speedo

you-“is ur grandma hot?”
idk-“no do you think she looks hot or something?”
you-“ur grandma looks hot on a ventilator but yk what’s hotter ur grandpa in a speedo”

Never look a gifted horse in the mouth

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth" or "long in the tooth" are both expressions we often hear but not quite comprehend what it really means. Many may interpret is as "don't question an intelligent person" or "don't question the value of a gift". The following are two types of meaning of the phrase.

THE ETYMOLOGY MEANING:
"Don't check his age." Traditionally, horsemen use teeth as a guide to determine the horse's age. This practice is not foolproof but many factors contribute when evaluating a horse's age. Deciduous teeth (milk teeth) are grown shortly after birth. They're paler and shorter than adult teeth. They gradually shed by the age of five and are replaced by permanent teeth with a concave surface which are larger and darker in colour. At the age of ten , the Galvayne's groove begins to appear and by the age of fifteen the groove would have reached half way down the tooth. When the horse reaches its mid twenties, the Galvayne's groove begins to disappear and entirely vanish, when they are old.

IDIOM MEANING:
a) Don't try to evaluate a gift
b) be appreciative of a gift regardless whether it's big or small, instead of wanting something big and better.
c) be grateful and accept what is given.
d) don't question what is given to you, accept it as it is.

Harry Styles: Don't evaluate a girl by the size of her diamond ring. The grading or ranking scale that its is measured against may not be of importance to her. She may have deliberately skipped Chem class knowing that she will fail the unit on the 4C's.

Pinto's father taught her a valuable lesson in life which is "Never look a gifted horse in the mouth."

Expecting a horse for her 12th birthday, Pinto was disappointed when her father Miguel gifted her a cow in a ribbon.

You look like my aunt

Worst insult you can say to someone

Person 1: Hello
Person 2: You look like my aunt
Person 1: *Instantly dies*