Ham Fiend

Someone who is always craving ham, to the point when they stop in the middle of a sentence and say "I have a craving for ham". Also these people use it to break the ice of a conversation, beginning the chat with something about how much they want ham.

Sorcha: (opening door) "Hey, Remy, how you doing?"

Remy: (walking straight past Sorcha, straight to the fridge) "Have you got any ham?"

Sorcha: "Woah, Remy, you're such a Ham Fiend"

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press ham

to sit, bare-assed, directly on a toilet seat.

Hell no, I don't press ham on public toilets.

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Ham Doctor

A euphemism describing a person who has committed the most unspeakable and vile acts imaginable upon the ass of another. If you could get a doctorate in butt rape, then the Ham Doctor would qualify.

"We've got another red flag, sir. A bad one."
"Hit me."
"Ham Doctor."
"Eughh."

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Ham tongue

An unending thirst caused by eating to much salty goodness. There seems to be no real cure besides eating lots of juicy grapes. And grapes work very well to help.

My ham tongue is SOOO bad. Do you have any grapes?

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Ham Bone

One who you are extremely gay for.

Man, im so ham boned for that guy.

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greasing the hams

The act of ejaculating on a female or males thies and spreading it around (preferebly large humans) and placing your penis in between them.

Dude, remember Eliot and Justin's ex? I was greasing the hams last night

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ham sandwich

When you're SUPER pissed off and want to say EVERY WORD IN THE BOOK, just say HAM SANDWICH and it takes care of ALL your problems!

I stubbed my toe, REALLY HARD..... "OH HAM SANDWICH!!!!!!"

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