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A clown bastard child is a child who was possibly switched out at birth by entities unknown (clown bastard aliens)...possibly as a joke on the unsuspecting parents. Parents may leave the hospital with what they perceive to be the most sweetest child in the world...only to discover about 5 years later that the child's behavior is so atrocious it makes the parent proclaim that the child could not possibly be theirs because of how said child acts. The parents were fooled because the child resembles them but his actions later in life may prove otherwise. These children are often spawned...not born
broken down-
Clown- because it seems a joke was played on you.
Bastard- because this child surely CANNOT be yours!
Child- self-explanatory
"Whose clown bastard child is this?!"
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Another really nice way of saying 'bless your heart'.
So you believe in faith over science ? Oh you sweet summer child.
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A terrible disease that typically effects only-children, but can occasionally strike people with siblings. It may also effect children whose parents divorce.
Symptoms include: playing mind games with members of the opposite sex, a cripling desire for instant gratification, the inability to compromise or share, and a total disregard for anyones thoughts or feelings but their own.
Example 1: Man, that girl is such a bitch- she wouldn't even spare a square! She has the worst case of only child syndrome I've ever seen!
Example 2: My boss has the worst case of only child syndrome ever! Every time I do something good he finds a way to slam me down just so he can feel better about himself.
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When someone is extremely spoiled or is a huge bitch as a result of being an only child.
Why is that kid such an ass?
Oh he is always like that. It is the only child effect.
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Otherwise known as "No Child Left In The Behind". George W. Bush passed this law as a means to ensure that ass babies are born by means of mandatory c-sections.
As George W Bush was an ass baby, he has often acknowledged that he was one of the few who are successfully born without intervention. This was due to his father, George H. W. Bush having had much experience with rough gay sex, and having a texas-sized asshole. However, since Bush understands that this is not often the case with ass babies, he passed this law. On the passing of this law, Bush has commented "Every child has the right to life, should they be born from a vagina, or from a gay man's ass. If an anal c-section is what it takes to protect this right, then so be it. I think we Americans can all agree that we want no child left in the behind."
Many people are misinformed and think that the law has something to do with the pointless standardized tests now facing the American education system. This is all a government conspiracy designed to keep the public blind about the plight of the homosexual male population.
Jim: Hey Bob, what do you think about the No Child Left Behind law?
Bob: I think it's wrecking our school system. Kids could be learning about useful things instead of taking those pointless tests.
Jim: Huh? The No Child Left Behind law has nothing to do with education, it is supposed to ensure that ass babies are born successfully.
Bob: Well that's disgusting. Why the hell did you ask me?
Jim: I found out about my ass pregnancy today.
Bob: Well that sucks. My boyfriend has it too, I hope the c-section won't cause any permanent damage.
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Abuse as a result of jealousy of a middle child. Often due to their common better looks and higher intelligence.
Middle child abuse middle child syndrome
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The act of performing anal sex with a pregnant woman, in which the anal thrusting is so vigorous that labor is induced and the child is born. Note that it is recommended that the woman be in the reverse cow-girl orientation, so that her afterbirth does not contaminate the man's stomach.
With his pregnant wife two weeks overdue, Mr. Schmidt saved the day by performing the Walkerton Wild Child on an emergency room bed.
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