the Cosmic Turd

– noun
A particularly solid (or frozen) piece of excrement, used as a makeshift dildo.

- verb phrase
To {perform} the Cosmic Turd; the act of using a Cosmic Turd as a make-shift dildo, with the intention of stimulating the recipient to climax before it becomes uselessly flaccid.

I couldn't get wood, so I had to slip her the Cosmic Turd...

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turd puddle

Residue from squishy farts found in undergarments during bouts of diareaha

I thought it was a fart but ended up leaving a big turd puddle in my jockeys. Will become skidmark.

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meat turd

A turd, formed in the digestive system, composed mainly or exclusively of meat. A hard, smelly turd, that is difficult to pass.

Dude...that was the worst meat turd ever! Was that cow dead when you ate it?

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turd loaf

similar to a loaf of bread, yet brown with dry fragments of corn and nut. Quite thick texture but a lovely toasted. Can my found in your local bakery department.

(Overweight hairy baker) - "hahaha enjoy your turd loaf"

(Unsuspecting daughter) - "This bread looks like last nights dinner?"

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Turd cutter

The buttocks of a person.
An ass.

That bitch has one sweet ass.
Yeah her turd cutter is tight.

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Turd on a Salad

When life serves you up some serious funk.

Dude, turd on a salad! My hair is breaking off and orangish from the Nice and Easy box-crap bleach job you gave me. I have an interview tomorrow.

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Turd crimper

The posterior of a human being or animal, also anus.

"Bob, for god's sake put away your turd crimper. You're wearing a belt, USE IT!"

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