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When someone is late and they were most likely just late because they were cuddled up in bed with their s/o.
“Where is Fido?”
“His wife was sleeping on his shirt tail, he’ll be here in a few minutes.”
something that someone says .3 seconds after their significant other or best friend leaves the room
person 1: *leaves*
five seconds pass
person 2: i miss my wife, tails. i miss her a lot
4👍 1👎
something that someone says to the remaining people in the room .3 seconds after their best friend or significant other leaves
person 1: bye guys
5 seconds pass
person 2: i miss my wife, tails. i miss her a lot
4👍 1👎
Da assordid --- I mean, I mean, **assorted** --- stories of "getting lucky" dat two or more studs exchange around da card-table or at da bar-counter.
I detest listening to da miscellaneous "tail tales" of da various puffed-ego human stallions who gather at Duffy's Tavern... I mean, yeah, sure --- so maybe those hot chicks **did indeed** spread their legs for those virile crotch-cravers on those particular occasions, but what about any word of actual long-term friendships or relationships with said ladies??? Didn't those guys have any more respect or appreciation for these "willing" women beyond just their allowing said bush-hungry dudes to get in their pants??? I would rather take da time and effort to cause a gal to like and respect me as being a nice kind-hearted guy whom she'd actually **enjoy** lovingly cuddling up to and having sex wif, not just perform da simple ol' "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am" routine wif her and then scuttle off again!
When a hoes thing is above there pants and you can see it
Bro check out that hoes whale tail
The most adorable creature ever
Guy 1: "Have you ever seen a thick tailed pygmy jerboa?"
Guy 2: "Of course. I spend most of my time looking at them."