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a penis that is fat at the base and gets smaller as it reaches the head
did you see aaron's christmas tree cock?
17👍 17👎
When you blow a few grams to an ounce of cocaine into a woman's anus and proceed to have anal sex with her.
El Chapo enjoys having Columbian white Christmases with only the most high end prostitutes.
5👍 4👎
its when you whipe your ass after takin a dump with the inside of the victims pillow case put it back on and then let them go asleep on it while you enjoy the comical values of the prank
"hey dud, you should have seen it last night Dave farted on my pillow and gave me pink eye a week before so i went one step further and gave him the old Indian christmas present"
17👍 19👎
Referring to buying a live christmas tree, and how it looks perfect before you get it home and find out it's bent or leaning in one direction or another. You can never find a perfectly straight christmas tree.
Bill - Wow, he is gay as a christmas tree!
Bob - what?...
Bill - well, have you ever found a straight christmas tree?
13👍 13👎
The staple of all emo and wanna be emo kids alike. It's just a kids movie, get a life
Emo kid 1. OMG did you watch the nightmare before christmas last night?
Emo kid 2. OMG yeah I was like jerking off to it because of how emotional it is
Me: Shut the fuck up, I stopped watching that movie when I was eight thanks to you douchebags
30👍 37👎
A conspiracy theory until 2016, when Millennials and the far left started attacking Christmas traditions by labeling them as racist, misogynistic, in an attempt to get them banned.
"I didn't believe there actually was a War on Christmas, until they tried to ban Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer by calling it racist."
560👍 87👎
The act of shitting carefully behind your prone partner, inserting three fingers into her vagina, one in her ass, and voraciously pumping your digits in and out, maintaining a perfect L-bend at the elbow, and using only your rotator cuff as a power pivot.
My friends enjoy doing the christmas turkey carver every thanksgiving.
10👍 10👎