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Character of T.S. Eliot's poem: Mr. Mistoffelees
You ought to know Mr. Mistoffelees!
The Original Conjuring Cat--
(There can be no doubt about that).
Please listen to me and don't scoff. All his
Inventions are off his own bat.
There's no such Cat in the metropolis;
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing suprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions.
At prestidigitation
And at legerdemain
He'll defy examination
And deceive you again.
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn.
Presto!
Away we go!
And we all say: OH!
Well I never!
Was there ever
A Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
He is quiet and small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail;
He can creep through the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice;
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish-paste;
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced--
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gawn!
But you'll find it next week lying out on the lawn.
And we all say: OH!
Well I never!
Was there ever
A Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
His manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there was nobody shyer--
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire.
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof--
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers:
And I have known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours,
While he was asleep in the hall.
And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all said: OH!
Well I never!
Did you ever
Know a Cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
58👍 9👎
The act of shitting one's self during roadhead, thereby effectively turning said roadhead into a mobile blumpkin.
I performed the magic school bus on that ratchet ass hoe La'quisha while returning from the KFC. It smelt like the Colonel's rotting corpse, but she kept suckin.
15👍 3👎
The Magic Sit Up is a prank that you and a few buddies play on an unsuspecting victim. First, you have your buddy get down on the ground and close his eyes. Tell him, "When I'm finished with my chant, try and do a sit up." Then, make up some weird chant. Your buddy then pretends like he can't do a sit up. The victim is dumbfounded saying, "I have to try this." He gets down on the ground, closes his eyes, and you start your chant. In the meantime, your buddy drops his drawers and stands above the victim. When the chant is done, the victim will try and do a sit up, successfully, but he'll also get a nose full of your buddy's browneye.
Lee and I gave Corey a Magic Sit Up and he got a face full of Lee's ass.
47👍 7👎
A spam guild on the forum community Gaiaonline which provides guild members with endless polls through which they may gain the hypothetical currency of Gaia Gold.
It has the highest number of members of any Gaia guild and as such holds great power, may be a place of great drama and has a very complex and highly entertaining social system. It also has its own sort of religion, which involves the hailing of the creator Myspoonistoobig as a God. Not all members subscribe to this particlar aspect, though.
"I can be a pollwhore in Magical Poll Land and no-one's going to complain"
139👍 28👎
Any alcholic beverage, particularly red wine or tequila, which causes a woman to have a one night stand.
Dude 1: "That chick drank a whole bottle of wine."
Dude 2: "She's mine dude, the magic panty eraser will be kicking in any minute now!"
50👍 8👎
Paff,Der Zauberdrachen (Puff the Magic Dragon) song sang in german & performed Monkey Circus linz 1975 by Marlene Dietrich where her very long career largely ended when she broke her leg:Believed by some trippy hippies to refer to smoking marijuana,due to references to paper dragon(draggin)and puffs of smoke.therfore being banned around some of the world with it's association with the drug culture.
hippy: PMD a coded song about marijuana.
negra:no shit bro,i tink it was the Spooky Douglas AC-47 gunships developed by the US Air Force during the Vietnam War.
hippy:O hare krishna Puff the Magic Dragon maybe your right!
350👍 82👎
A man with large Mono and rarely waxes his back.
Magic Mono malivindi : my face is full of hair
Other : you goose.... its a mono get it waxed!
14👍 1👎