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‘Both hands on the phone’ is a commonly used phrase in Wattpad comment sections. It refers to literally having both hands on your device and not just one and using the other to masturbate.
“Hey! Both hands on the phone!”
“Hey that person isn’t keeping both hands on their phone… disgusting.”
“What’s that mean anyway?”
“ ‘Both hands on the phone’ is a commonly used phrase in Wattpad comment sections. It refers to literally having both hands on your device and not just one and using the other to masturbate.”
“Ok thanks.”
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When doing your woman doggy style, you shove a finger in her asshole,move it around a little, and then pull it out and proceed to stick it in her ear, while yelling"Can you hear me now?"
My girlfriend wasn't getting off ,so I pulled the Dirty Cell Phone on her cause I was getting pissed!!
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be available or come through for someone
Person One: I really trust you dawg. I feel like you’re always gonna be there for me.
Person Two: Of course bro. I’m always gonna pick up the phone for you.
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What this Mexican said to me when he wandered on to my property last night
A Mexican guy came into my yard and wanted to use my phone. The only words he knew in English were "No police" and "E.T. phone home" He was probably an illegal immigrant. True Story.
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Every 40 year old facebook mom’s excuse when there child gets hurt, sick, whatever.
Mom! I broke my leg!
Mom: must be that damn phone
Cell Phone Pixies are mischievious creatures who live in your phone. When you are not paying attention, they will magically call India, spam votes for someone on American Idol, and try to download a movie to your iPhone. When you get $45 usage fees on your next bill, all you have to do is call customer service and say you never ever used your phone to do that and they will believe you and reverse the charges.
Customer: "There's no way in hell I went over my daytime minutes! I never go over! It must have been the cell phone pixies."
Agent: "I fully trust you and will take your word for it. I'll reverse the fee right now! Just call us back any time those pixies fuck with your phone and we'll take care of it for you. Don't bother getting for a plan with more minutes so you're only paying $5 more per month rather than $200!"
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The magical, mystical being that gets busy work for you and your co-workers after everyone else has gone home.
-I thought we finished all the calls yesterday?
--We did. The phone call fairy must've come last night.
Worker 1: When we left yesterday our inbox was empty.
Worker 2: The phone call fairy came last night.