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When bookmakers worldwide are crazy-busy changing the odds on whether President Trump would be re-elected or not, based on the good and bad news that come out about him and his morally bankrupt administration every hour of the day.
Thanks to Covid-🎲, with billions of bucks changing hands, hundreds of millionaires (and thousands of zeronaires) are expected to emerge come November 3.
Covid Chunk (n): the weight you gained during quarantine from the bread you been baking to keep yourself sane.
Since I've started baking bread during quarantine, my jeans are much tighter. Must be COVID chunk.
A squirt of hand sanitizer for one's hands.
Person A: Hey dude, can I get a Covid squirt please?
Person B: I gotchu bro! (as he hands over the hand sanitizer)
What a desperate whore says now that most cities are in phase one and loves cum.
Michelle: Fuck yeah, i dont give a flying fuck if this dude has a 4-inch dick or not, he can give me a Covid squirt in my pink and stink.
It's when you've been trying to sleep with solid-packed sinuses which necessitates you breathing through your mouth all night. After what seems like forever trying to survive all night long, propped up, breathing through your now dry-parched and sore mouth and throat, you get up with Covid-breath which is so bad it could strip the walls of wallpaper, stop a charging rhino in its tracks and back off a zombie in mid-stride. Covid-breath is soon relieved when your cold starts breaking up and you finally start hacking up egg-sized chunks of green phlegm.
"Ugh...I had to breath through my mouth all night..," you say to your spouse as she wakes up beside you.
"Ack!" she struggles to utter. "I can tell (hack, cough). Covid-breath! Back off you foul beast! Back off or I shall be forced to slay you!!!"
When tourism-dependent Nepal reopens Mount Everest to climbers and trekkers despite having the second highest infection rate in South Asia, after India—it has a population of 30 million people and relies on hundreds of foreign diehard mountaineers every year to feed its 200,000 sherpas, guides, and porters.
The Nepalese government has been criticized for being more preoccupied with their party’s in-fighting politics than the coronavirus pandemic—they’re ill-equipped to contain the Covid-🇳🇵situation in the face of zero community based isolation centers and limited ICU beds.
When you feel blah after staying up all night and partying with your friends and you think you might have covid. The next day is shot. While laying on the couch most of the now afternoon, you think that rather than going to the store and getting a covid test kit (ludicrous), you cut to the chase and assume you have covid. Then you talk about how you have covid for a few days. You garner support from like minded-lazy, but pragmatic-suspious types like yourself. You start walking around like you are ill. Maybe take the day off from work. Maybe a week. How much sick time do you have? Maybe you don’t go home for the holidays. Plane tickets are expensive. Sleep in your shitty childhood bed? Maybe your neighbors bring you soup. You could get used to this. Until the next time you get to party with your friends.
I’m seriously testing positive for Covid after that party last night. I’m fucking spent!