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The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.
Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.
Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!
Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!
335👍 125👎
When a person (male)is so disgusted with the female that has simply walked by that the said person would not even have intercourse with her, even if he were to use his friend's penis
Oooft she's a fucken roaster, i wouldn't touch her with yours
or
oof she's a fucken roaster, ah wouldny touch her wi yours
69👍 21👎
A story told by someone in which they discuss their crush. The story is long and plotty, and the end is something along the lines of "and then...he touched my shoulder!" - a moment clearly exhilerating for the person telling the story, but that leaves the audience confused and expecting more from such a long winded story.
"so we went to the park on friday after the movies, and we were walking around and he bought us all ice cream from some random crazy vendor named frank, and then we were talking about his new car and its red, and then he touched my shoulder!"
86👍 28👎
When a another guy touches your balls threw your pants.....Everyday
Friend 1 : can I touch your balls?
Friend 2: what!? Why?
Friend 1: it's touch your friends balls day
Friday 2: oh ok sure
Something guys want to touch and girls want to avoid but from first to last day of november girls can't slap boys when the touch girls boobs.
Touch boobs november
1👍 12👎
When someone taller than you gets in your way or stumbles onto you.
Particularly used by Richard Goranski.
Rich: Yo, Don't touch me tall ass!
Jeremy Heere: Sorry I was just trying to get to my--
*Rich writes on Jeremy's backpack*
Rich: You wash that off, YOU'RE DEAD.
1👍 1👎
Phrase occupied when someone taller stumbles onto you or gets in your way.
Mainly used by Richard Goranski from the musical Be More Chill
Rich: Yo, Don't touch me tall ass!
Jeremy Heere: Sorry, I was just trying to get to my--
*Rich writes on Jeremy's backpack*
Rich: You wash that off, YOU'RE DEAD.