The Boner Song

A great song by the Whitest Kids U' Know singing about how hard, how weird, and what you must never do with a boner, including, but not limited to: Trimming the hedges (with the hedge trimmer pointed down).

Beginning of The Boner Song (I won't ruin it for you. Look it up on YouTube)

Click, click, click...

It's hard to go work with a, BONER.
It's hard to drive a car with a, BONER.
It's hard to mow the lawn with a, BONER.
It's hard to go to sleep with a, BONER.

Now go watch the rest of the video. Seriously.

21👍 7👎

Purple Boner

Where a male is subjected to extreme arousal far exceeding the point of "blue balls" syndrome.

Guy1 - "Dude, I was trying to have sex with my new girlfriend last night, and instead I got blue balls."

Guy2 - "You think that's bad, I got a purple boner just watching you both through the window."

Example 2: "Hey Mom, tell grandma to stop wearing that dress. She is giving me a "Purple Boner."

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Boner Battle

A game where a group of guys watch porn and whoever gets a boner first loses.

I won the boner battle! Maybe I watch too much porn...

26👍 10👎

Wet Boner

1.A huge boner. It will get so hard it may show throw your pants and it will be wet on the tip of it. This may happen for no reason or because something a hot girl did.

"Dude,i had a wet boner in class and it got really annoying, couldn't concentrate."

26👍 10👎

boner smoker

Someone who is a total gaylord, sucks an extraordinary amount of penis, or in general did something super mega gay to deserve this title.

Includes all types of boners: hickory smoked, steamed, barbecued, grilled, mesquite, etc.

"God, Brady is such a boner smoker."

"Shawn was creeping again on another drunk girl? What a fucking boner smoker."

26👍 10👎

Metal boner

When someone hears metal so amazing that they simply can't contain a boner.

Dude, have you heard the album by Wintersun? I'm getting a metal boner just thinking about it!

22👍 8👎

cold boner

a boner which is freezing cold. Usually only occurs in those who have Cold Boner Syndrome (CBS). People who have a cold boner should typically fornicate with women who have icebox vaginas to avoid the tongue on the flagpole effect.

Guy 1: "my boner is freezing cold right now"

Guy 2: "I didn't know you had CBS!"

Guy 1: "Yeah, thats why my girlfriend looks like shit. I have to settle for those icebox vaginas, its a tough life."

Guy 2: "It's the cold boner life. Livin it, Lovin it, doing it."

22👍 8👎