closed pass

to give someone a closed pass is to ignore them as you walk past them, after having been walking in the opposite direction towards each other. i.e. keeping your head down, not making eye contact.

the opposite is an open pass, in which you acknowledge the other person, giving them eye contact and/or a smile and/or a greeting as you pass them.

mate, i saw that guy that i hooked up with on wednesday night in the arts building today. it was well awkward! i was so embarrassed, i gave him a closed pass.

Close Reading

When you heavily analyze someone’s Instagram post or general personal information to figure out who they are as a person/ what is going on.

Very similar to stalking but with an intellectual and analytical twist.

Like criminal minds- but taking it too far.

Friend 1 - Did you see Sam’s Instagram post?

Friend 2 - Yeah I did. It was so chaotic that I had to do a full close reading last night.

Friend 1- Did you hear that Ariana and Finn got back together again?

Friend 2- Wait what!? We need to close read this situation later so we can fully understand what is going on.

close pals

Close friends, simply.

David Walliams and Simon Cowell are close pals

covid closed

New signs popping up in front of businesses that are failing because of covid19 virus.

My business is covid closed because of this fucking virus. It wasn't because I'm a bad businessman......just bad timing!

Closed Friendship

that uncomfortable place in a developing relationship where it would be awkward for either person to see other people but the two are not yet a couple

Girl, get off that, you're in a closed friendship with him; stop banging his bestie.

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closed goat

A tightly shut vagina.

Oooooh, you don't have camel-toe, so you must have a closed goat.

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close the pool

When the pool is closed due to aids!

If the pool is closed then you will notice a black man with a black afro holding a sign which says "Pools Closed Due To Aids"

the pool has been closed due to aids the pool has been closed do to aids the pool has been closed due to aids

Anonymous: OMFG WTF IS THIS SHIT!
Anonymous: can't you read? the pool is closed due to aids.
Anonymous: wtf? /facepalm.
Candlejack: <---oh shi-

close the pool
YOU SWIM HERE YOU GET AIDS!!!!

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