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The modern hipster is a creature that generally lacks a sense of belonging in mainstream society due to its aggressive hatred of all things it sees as belonging or relating to the idea of "father". The hipster can be identified by a few trademark signs.
It wears an atrocious array of clothing that is meant to immediately draw attention to the wearer. This is to help other creatures of the same species identify each other and also to fill the hipster's deep-seated need for the attention they feel was denied them by parents who "just don't get them". Perhaps the most iconic piece of the hipster outfit is the so-called "skinny" jeans, though it is rare to see a hipster who fits the aforementioned description. A further visual trait of the hipster is its hairstyle. The hipster considers its hair to be "edgy" and avant-garde when in reality, it is an attention-seeking ploy and a desperate appeal to humans to give it the attention its father never would.
It is not uncommon for the hipster to hold a degree from an educational institution, but the majority of hipsters are merely students with no sort of financial burdens. The degree, however, is usually is Sociology or another discipline of equal worthlessness and is only obtained as a way for the hipster to feel validation for its slew of unfounded political opinions. The average hipster also has a hefty knowledge of the obscure, unpopular music that it listens to to make itself feel unique and important.
Where can I find a hipster if I wanted to study one?
You can usually find them in their natural habitats: either pretending to find symbolism and deep meaning in manga books at Barnes and Noble, or pretending to enjoy coffee at a Starbucks.
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first of all, there are the fake hipsters.
aka- the girls who have summer "hipster" blogs on tumblr. they think being hipster is wearing high-waisted shorts and wearing crosses on their necks. they still listen to nicki minaj and kesha.
no.
that is not a hipster.
a hipster is someone who simply does not give a fuck.
they appreciate what they want to appreciate.
they dress mostly in sweaters and plaid.
and they listen to bands no one has ever heard of before.
"omg lewk at me im a hipstur!!!!!!! trianglez 4 lyfe!!!!"- not a hipster
"my feline disgorged this morning."- hipster
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a hipster would commonly say something to the effect of:
seriously dude, don't ask me to explain my music to you, you wouldn't get it anyways...god i am going to go masturbate to Andy Warhol
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there isn't much difference between hipsters and indie kids. their favorite color is probably either yellow or red. they like triangles, owls, and they all smoke. hipsters MUST know what omegle and 4chan are, lolcats and insanewolfs are a must, too. every hipster needs a camera. they'll take pictures, put them in black and white, and they're automatically photographers. they spend most of their time complaining on tumblr, and making fun of hipsters for being hipsters. they constantly bicker about twilight and harry potter, often favoring harry potter. yeah sure, hp and twilight have nothing in common, but who cares? hipsters don't.
person a: what's that lyric from?
person b: oh, just some obscure band you've most likely never heard of.
person a: LOLOLOL look at that hipster.
person b: lulz, i know.
person a: i have so many followers on tumblr, but they all delete my cred!
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People who complain about hipsters.
A true hipster would love hipsters, cause everyone else apparently hates them.
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Forget everything you know about hipsters its all wrong. Hipsters are the third gender of the human race, these individuals segregate themselves from the other two genders by sporting their own gender specific fashion, culture and music. The hipster gender has to this day baffled the scientific community for they play no part in reproduction nor contribute to society what so ever (because they usually have no job and live off their parents trust fund ... its fucking true). The usual human hipster would generally perceive members of other genders as inferior, rejecting all ideas and culture of the genders and referring to it as being "too mainstream" a term they use for something that doesn't appeal to their gender much like a man playing with barbie dolls or a woman who is somewhere other than the kitchen. Hipsters are usually found boasting about their great knowledge on pointless topics that most people wouldn't really give a shit about and their useless philosophy/art degree that they cant and wont use. Scientist theorize that the reason the hipster gender is not found in the wild is because the members of the gender had long ago died off. The hipster lifestyle is not compatible in the wild for there are no Cafes, Parliament Cigarettes, Crappy Indie Music and all carnivorous hipster animals would have perished from refusing to consume meat. Also like the whole population of the United States all hipsters have no clue as to the correct usage of the word "irony"
Hipster: I wear prescription glasses even tho i dont even need them cos im being ironic hurr derrrrp.
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People, usually between the ages of 15 and 20 who hang out at Starbucks and/or Barnes and Noble and drink massive amounts of coffee and read books, or go on their laptops for hours on end. These people claim to have no money and so they purchase all of their clothing at Salvation Army or Goodwill, yet show off their Apple computer or brand new iPhone. They are also huge fans of cigarettes, and look down on people who drink alcohol, even though they secretly go out and drink and smoke weed every weekend with their fellow hipsters. They love the outdoors and drink "healthy" things like Arizona Green Tea by the gallon. Oh, and most of them usually wear very tight pants and have short, butchy haircuts, regardless of their gender.
Have you seen Leslie around lately?
Yeah, I think she's turned into a hipster, I saw her at Starbucks the other day...
That's too bad...
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