Jewish Handshake

The act of slapping someone on their lower back where their kidneys are located. Basically like a body glove, but targeting the kidneys.

I gave my brother a jewish handshake when he ate my last golden oreo.

7👍 1👎

jewish gymnastics

Using the gift of gab to avoid paying a bill.

Isaac used jewish gymnastics to avoid paying for dinner.

7👍 2👎

jewish daywalker

The Jewish-daywalker is someone who is Jewish on the father's side vs on the mothers side . As Jewish laws says you are only Jewish if your it comes from the mother. Someone who is Jewish from the side of the father has all the power of being Jewish without the consequences be being fully Jewish.

Jewish-daywalker abilities include but are not limited to:
Eating pork

Getting a discount on the pork they just ate
Knowing the market price of pork

Write you a prescription for pork
Defend your right to eat pork

I thought the jewish people were not allowed to eat bacon. It's ok, he's a jewish daywalker .

8👍 2👎

A Jewish Paycheck

A large amount of money payed for in coins, usually in quarters, but doesn't exclude to pennies, nickles, and dimes.

Person 1: Dude, my boss left out $10 bucks from paycheck this week. When I told him, he told me it was a mistake and, instead of writing out another check for $10 bucks, he just gave it to me in real money. Yeah, all in coins.

Person 2: That explains that jingling i was hearing, your boss gave you a Jewish Paycheck

7👍 1👎

Jewish Lightning

To set fire to, and burn down completely (arson) a property in order to collect insurance money. The Jewish connotation refers to the Jew's love of money and therefore unwillingness to spend money (and therefore commit insurance fraud).

"Jerry got most of his money when his place got hit by Jewish Lightning."

or

"Ben Steinfeldenstein's deli was the fortunate victim of Jewish Lighting, and he can now afford that new house."

560👍 306👎

Jewish Hotness

a hot jewish girl a triple-h(hot hebrew honey) also hebrew hotness

dam bro that shool(temple) whas filld with jewish hotness

83👍 39👎

Jewish Dilemma

Free ham.

From the stereotype that a Jew can't resist a bargain, and the Levitical prohibition of eating pork.

Father Murphy offered Rabii Bender a ham sandwich. "Oj gevalt!" moaned the good Rabii, "such a Jewish dilemma!"

464👍 251👎