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Random
The same joke as Joe mama but with it’s Mike Hawk (my cock).
<Ricky> i fucked someone so hard last night
<Jose> Who
<Ricky> mike
<Jose> mike who
<Ricky> MIKE HAWK
<Random thiccc crowd> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
6👍 2👎
Likes Men fucks dudes alot and beats alot of guys off
Aiden: Hey did you hear what Mike did to Mr johnson
Noah: No i didnt
Aiden: He gave him sloppy toppy in the bathroom
Noah: Woah hes a fag
6👍 3👎
A guy who has sex with anything with boobs
YOU WERE WITH HER?!?! thats such a mike thing to do! (literally)
27👍 24👎
one who can gallop like and ostrich and still be home in time for dinner and a quick game of halo.
"yo look at that kid, he's running like an ostrich"
"no big deal, Mike was doin that in front of school yesterday. noob"
"yeah what an orp"
"lawls"
"lawls indeed, lawls indeed
133👍 145👎
A piece of shit. The worst person on the planet. Gets confused with the count from sesame street. Can't not handle his liquor. Punches holes in walls and breaks doors. Has no respect for women and is supposedly a "sex addict". Cares only for beer and food. ALCOHOLIC. Also has a chronic coughing problem. Disliked by many.
Dude how much did you drink last night, you pulled a mike.
22👍 19👎
A rare character defined by his colossal mass and wealth of useless information which covers every topic that you don't want to hear about. Talents include reciting entire URL addresses and quoting from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Despite his lack of ability with maths, Mikes in general are renowned for their superior skill in monitoring debts to the exact penny. Talents do not include knowing how to shit properly, a basic human function he seems to struggle with more than showering. This leads to a smell so pungent it could kill the smell of a dead animal, as well as said dead animal - which will probably have shit smeared on it, in the same fashion as his door/bathroom wall/bathroom door handle/everything in bathroom apart from bowl. Eating habits include everything that is processed and chemically engineered, although the species of Mike may occasionally advance to feasting upon 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches', one of the many Americanisms he has adopted. Mikes may be falsely recognised as slugs, a species that share similar qualities with Mikes; however, it is unlikely that one may spot a Mike as they rarely emerge from the dark dank recesses of their beds. There are several matings calls used by Mikes, which vary from the 'How I Met Your Mother' theme tune to the sound of the fridge door opening; more often than not, it is the sound of an unsuspecting taxpayer opening his/her wallet, or withdrawing money from a cashpoint which attracts a Mike to a prospective victim.
Person 1: Hey Mike, hows thi..
A Mike: YOU OWE ME £2.74!!!!!
Person 1: ings?
Person 1: I laughed so hard I shat myself
Person 2: Yeah it was so funny I Miked everywhere.
Person 1: Urgh, I had such a Mike day today
Person 2: What did you do?
Person 1: Played dead for 14 hours.
9👍 6👎