Random
Source Code
Random
A “Near Miss Frog Kiss” is defined as coming close to making a choice that would have been wrong for you. It’s based on the old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your Prince Charming!”
“Wow Girl! You just had a Near Miss Frog Kiss. I know he might seem nice, but believe me girlfriend, he’s no prince!”
This phrase could also apply to any decision where you might have made a poor choice (buying the wrong car, wrong house or attending the wrong college)
1👍 1👎
A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.
There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."
Or this shorter version:
Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!
212👍 62👎
When your head ends up between a girl's legs, or her head between yours and you wish so hard those jeans weren't there.... (Or vice Versa)
B.N - Dude! Did you see Neil last night! Jude was sitting with her head between his legs!
D.R - Yeah, you could see by his face he was So Near Yet So Far....
9👍 1👎
A joke with no beginning only a punchline...
Phase 1, underpants! Phase 2....
Phase 3 profit!
149👍 497👎
Red and yellow make orange, Orange is geese no matter how far or near gums.
when you look up cat on urban dictionary,
you get an epic creature that will shoot fire at you if you get near it
Person1: do you know what an epic creature that will shoot fire at you if you get near it is
Person2: WHAT?!??!
Person1:that's the urban definition of cat
its a definition of cat on urban dictionary
Person1: do you know what an epic creature that will shoot fire at you if you get near it is
Person2:WHAT!?!!!???
Person1:it's a cat
Person2:uhh... no, it's not. cats dont shoot fire
Person1:i found that on urban on our discord server
*Person1 shows it to Person2*
Person2:yoooooooooooooo, that's cool
Person1:i know right