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When you blast a turd out so fast, the splashback cleans your ass for you.
"Man, I really turned the manual bidet to high last night. Even my thighs got wet!"
When you flush a toilet and as it flushes it splashed your butthole
I was on the public toilet and it became a poorman’s bidet.
The back-splash that occurs when one pinches a loaf from a slight elevation. Recent innovation has shone light on the potential practical aspects of this previously undesirable situation.
"We were out of toilet paper, but i lucked out with a perfectly timed Nature's Bidet"
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When you realize that you are out of toilet paper in the middle of your BM and have to place your rear end under the sink/shower faucet and wash yourself off.
Dude, I forgot I was out of tp and had to use the old Bangkok Bidet, it was awful!
When you take a shit and when your little buddy (extremely large fat man sheeite) responds with a nice thtoink right to the ring piece (asshole)
Hey Johnny, last week I was in the fuckin McDonald's I ate 12 mcchickens I felt it comin so I ran to the McDonald's restroom, almost missed and got the worst unexpected bidet
When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.
Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.
When you poop in a porta potty and you get some of the blue water backsplash on your butt
Steve had Taco Bell and had to poop really bad and saw a porta potty, but ended up going in the woods because he didn’t want to give himself a Birmingham Bidet