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A “stale cracker” by analogy to the salad topping. Similar in usage to “ok boomer” but more contemptuous. Used to mock someone for stereotypically “old, white” behavior. Superlative is “absolute” akin to “absolute unit”.
You demanded to speak to the manager and then demanded they “go back to where they came from?” Ugh you absolute crouton.
When Starbucks puts a piece of dried fruit in your drink. You have a drink crouton.
“Whoa is that a piece of dried pineapple in your Starbucks drink?”
“Yeah! It’s a drink crouton!”
A piece of feces left after wiping that has become crusty after time.
I think I have a pants crouton stuck between my cheeks.
When you wipe your butt and you miss a little piece and it stays in your pants.
I was in a rush and now I have a pants crouton
The small pieces of toilet paper left behind after a poor wiping. Possibly caused by cheap toilet paper.
Man, I need to get better toilet paper, I keep getting pants croutons.
A small piece of dried, crispy feces stuck in between the ass-cheeks. A consequence of a sub-par wipe.
"This morning I woke up with two Pants Croutons in my ass, and boy oh boy was that uncomfortable."
When you don't wipe very well and a little bit of poop gets left in there and it gets all dry and crusty.
Aww man, I've got the biggest pants crouton right now.