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Crouton

A “stale cracker” by analogy to the salad topping. Similar in usage to “ok boomer” but more contemptuous. Used to mock someone for stereotypically “old, white” behavior. Superlative is “absolute” akin to “absolute unit”.

You demanded to speak to the manager and then demanded they “go back to where they came from?” Ugh you absolute crouton.

by Jockeys41 June 21, 2025


Drink Crouton

When Starbucks puts a piece of dried fruit in your drink. You have a drink crouton.

“Whoa is that a piece of dried pineapple in your Starbucks drink?”

“Yeah! It’s a drink crouton!”

by hag4eva August 02, 2022


Pants crouton

A piece of feces left after wiping that has become crusty after time.

I think I have a pants crouton stuck between my cheeks.

by JoeyHey August 29, 2015


pants crouton

When you wipe your butt and you miss a little piece and it stays in your pants.

I was in a rush and now I have a pants crouton

by Johnthefaun August 29, 2015


Pants Crouton

The small pieces of toilet paper left behind after a poor wiping. Possibly caused by cheap toilet paper.

Man, I need to get better toilet paper, I keep getting pants croutons.

by Joke65 August 29, 2015


Pants Crouton

A small piece of dried, crispy feces stuck in between the ass-cheeks. A consequence of a sub-par wipe.

"This morning I woke up with two Pants Croutons in my ass, and boy oh boy was that uncomfortable."

by josmont September 06, 2015


Pants Crouton

When you don't wipe very well and a little bit of poop gets left in there and it gets all dry and crusty.

Aww man, I've got the biggest pants crouton right now.

by suttenplant August 29, 2015