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To leave suddenly with speed and no explanation.
Could see the ex coming, so I gareth bailed out of there.
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Sometimes referred to as a cum-and-run, a backseat bail is the act of having sex with a girl in the doggy-style position, finishing, and then running away before she turns around.
So I was fucking this chick last night, and as I sobered up I remembered she was ugly as fuck, so I grabbed my clothes and backseat bailed on her.
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Worthless piece of shit mother that does nothing but start drama and sleep around with other guys. And doesn't let her baby daddy see his kid a bitch that talk shit but can't back up her shit. no show to a fight. A nasty slut. Tht uses a turcky baster to get pregnant
Baile elam - bitch gonna come to your house and beat tht asss.
Girl- okay u know where I live come on.
(2hours later)
Girl- this bitch ain't coming hell nawww I wasted my time.
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To jump bail is to basically leave the state, country, or dissapear before your court date after you have posted bail. This means that you are stealing money from the person that has posted your bail. (A bail bondsmen) Normally you would be released from jail, then go to court. After your trial the bail bondsmen will have his money returned. This means that he has the right to track you down. You may even be accused of jumping bail before you even miss a court date. This is usually because you might be planning to leave or have already left. Once found after jumping bail, you will be thrown in jail until you appear in court, afterwhich the bail bondsmen will have his money returned; jumping over a hay bale.
John posted bail then fled the country to Mexico. What a flake! He totally jumped bail!; Look, Ryan just jumped the bail! He's the coolest!; to jump bail is really lame; to jump the bail is radical.
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A type of Epic Fail: When against all attempts at compromising and rescheduling, someone/everyone bails on you.
Suitable for situations where plans were made - and invites sent - well ahead of time, with the person/all persons good to go. Then 1+ persons somehow have their whole timetable (or just the selectively relevant sections) fall through, requiring numerous rescheduling, and having every successive reschedule fall through. When a reschedule is finally agreed upon, at the latest possible time, your fickle friend/s will cancel on you, guaranteeing you the epic shits.
Sometimes it may just be one person (B); and you may nano-adjust the schedule around this person, causing scheduling conflicts galore and everyone else to bail, leaving only you and B able to attend. Then B doesn't show. Figures, really.
Of course, the term is not at all restrictive, and may apply for any case of bailure considered ridiculous or magnificent. Or ridiculously magnificent.
Epic Bails may simply be a function of Murphy's Law. However, if EBs occur on a regular basis:
- Your invitees are probably not your friends (oh well)
- Your invitees might hate your events (shitty interests, or poor event planning, or wrong invitees)
- Your invitees might just hate you (feel free to hate them back; or just get new ones)
- Your invitees secretly conspire against you (always definitely true, since paranoia never sleeps)
- You may compromise too much (learn to say no)
You've already driven to the gig/game, tickets are no longer refundable, and no one you invited showed up. On the plus side, you could try scalping the tickets and risk getting arrested in some US states.
Getting left at the altar. At least your friends won't know, because they didn't show up. They might hear about it though. From the groom.
Executing a birthday surprise, without the birthday-boy showing up. So you can not give him his cake and not eat it too.
Your girlfriend flakes on your date, and breaks up with you via SMS, AND skips town just to spite you. Hopefully it's all worth her effort. Then again, it usually is.
When the organiser bails on his own event, which everyone ironically attends.
"Dude, what was with the epic bail last night?": In the case of the truly epic bail, you won't get to utter the above. Ever. Meanwhile, have fun finding your mate Waldo/Wally - he's over where making out with Carmen Sandiego.
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the fatest of all the cats in the land. known for his obnoxious meowing and constant eating. he likes earwax and big green chairs.
Lord Bail wont secede from his food bowl.
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