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The fat, frumpy, lonely woman who works the front desk at most medical or dental offices whose sole purpose is to keep sales people from accessing the decision-maker. This woman despises anyone who’s thin enough to see their own feet and dresses in only the finest fashions from Dress Barn, Lane Bryant or Torrid. To say she’s plus sized would be like saying Lizzo suffers from anorexia.
The savvy sales professional knows the weakness of the desk pig.. which is food and candy. She is powerless against the sacred aroma of a Panera Pick Three and will melt in your hands if you get her the Cream of Broccoli soup and her own dozen of Krispy Creams.
She doesn’t wear a name tag but you can be certain that her name is Kathleen, Cindy, Sandy, and of course Karen. Beware of her powerful ability to rudely look past your well tailored dress clothes and obvious college degree, Thea etchings don’t impress her. The only conversation she will engage in will be centered around where lunch is coming from or when the next Magic Mike movie is coming out. Never try to discuss business, the weather or exercise with the Desk Pig. 🐷
Assume the desk pig has at least 4 children, is divorced or was never married, lives in subsidized housing, and has at least one butterfly tattoo on her kankle or her wrist with some type of motto like “Live free or Die” or “ Burger King next Exit.”
Hey Craig, I called on Dr X’s Endo practice today for the 17th time but that goddamn desk pig is a relentlessly mean and nasty whore who’s already consumes my entire annual lunch budget. What do I do to get past her and sell a system? I’m trying to save teeth and improve lives out here but this beast is a real air thief!
The act of masturbating at your desk when nobody is around; masturbation after everyone has left work for the day. Excrements are usually caught by a fast-food napkin or nearby trash can.
Frustrated with a project, I decided to knock out a desk jerk one night I was working late.
he who makes thoughtful intercourse with his studies, if he studies you (some woman) think of the possibilities...he has, studied it
Old desk daddy serenades the women with knowledge and impeccable smoothness. I know a man who claims he's studying when he's really running game, he is now referred to as the Desk Daddy, intercourse at the desk is his forte.
Fellatio performed in conjunction with the act of doing homework.
Guy: Man, all this homework is killing me. I need a stress reliever, but I don't have any time.
Girl: Hmm, I can fix that problem.
Guy: Really? How so?
(girl kneels down)
Girl: Just keep doing your work.
(girl performs blowjob)
Guy: Thanks for the desk dome!!
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Where you shit your pants and jump as high as you can landing your ass on your desk.
Did you see Christina do a desk squeezer? Shit was everywhere!
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The act of several people taking turns sitting their bare anuses onto a bound individual, forcing them to perform analingus on the participants who take turns on them. Commonly played game in the BDSM and gay leather community.
"At the International Mr Leather convention last year, there was a competitive "Hot Desking" event. Pig Marco won first place after successfully sticking his tongue into the most anuses in under a minute"
"The gang bang only got interesting when they hot desked that whore for an entire hour before she got lockjaw and tapped out"
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To have wild, furious sexual intercourse with or including an individual and his or her secretary
Man 1: "What's John doing?"
Man 2: "Clearly, by the noises being emmited from his office, John is giving his desk a haircut..."
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