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The damn people that steal eBay auctions at the last second when I'm winning.
Locutus is a eBay sniper.
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The final 30 seconds of an auction when you've just bid. You are in flight or fight mode, hoping that no one will out-bid you, or increase the auction price.
Symptoms usually include light sweats, partial deafness, rudeness to others in room, dilated pupils, finger twitches.
DON'T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW. My ebay anxiety is kicking in. Let the auction end and I'm all yours.
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An especially convincing fake in sports, especially basketball.
From the dodgy practice of selling fake/lookalike items, particularly Nike Air Jordan's on the popular personal trading site.
NBA game circa. 1988 Chicago Bulls V. Atlanta Hawks, when defender Tree Rollins was so thrown by a Michael Jordan fake, that he stumbled and fell to his knees.
"Impressive fake there from Jordan. Rollins fell for it like an Ebay scam."
Persons or organizations who are purportedly paid to make public postings that support eBay and/or denigrate eBay's critics.
An eBay Weed post will 'attack the messenger or message' and 'spin everything positive for eBay'.
The numb feeling you get in your butt after sitting in front of the computer buying or entering info to sell stuff on ebay for an extended period of time.
Chris: I've been sitting here for HOURS filling out the forms to sell my useless crap on ebay! This takes FOREVER!
Dave: You need a break!
Chris: Seriously...I'm starting to get Ebay Ass. I can't feel my legs anymore!
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When, in a period of a few days, you receive many packages from an impulsive/compulsive eBay binge you went on a few weeks earlier. Resembles Christmas in that it's an exciting time when you get tons of 'gifts' wrapped in paper.
"Three weeks ago I got depressed about being single on Valentines Day, and also for the last six years, so I went on a spending spree on eBay. Today I got three packages and my action figure collection is finally complete - Merry eBay Christmas!!! Now I just have to wait for that shotgun to arrive so I can end this pathetic existence..."
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A person that sells anything and everything on eBay just to make a measly buck after all the processing fees, taxes and shipping cost.
Hanamaulu Postmaster: Gosh Jay your husband Bob surely waste a lot of time selling all his shit on eBay. I bet he only profits $1.00?
Jay: Yeah, but times that to the 10,000 items he got listed and sold. Yep! My Bob is a eBay Tycoon!
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