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A sport for retards that want to be brain dead by the time they are 50
Look at the retard playing football!
A stand in for war. In modern society, there are certain anachronistic human traits that persist, despite their lack of adaptiveness. One is the need for some sort of territorial conflict. Football teams are named after, and have stadiums in, certain geographic areas (eg the “Oakland Raiders”) to create the illusion that they are, somehow representative of this area. All, or almost all, of the players and coaches are inevitably not from this area, but the naming scheme is enough of a paper thin veneer to allow anyone in the entire state to arbitrarily consider this “their” team. This feeds into the irrational impulse for territorial struggle or even war while maintaining decorum. Also makes millions of dollars.
Bob: What do you think of the Seattle Seahawks football team?
Sally: Well, despite the fact that everyone on the team is from the deep south, I am from Seattle and thus live vicariously through them.
A man's sport that requires you to take a hit from a 300+ pound guy who runs a 4.4 40 yard dash. Everyone is swole as fuck, quick as fuck, and tough as shit. It is often critisized by silly-ass foreigners because of the pads, but these cunt muffins fail to realize that these pads are required, or the player might get seriously fucked up. Most people realize that these shit talkers could never come close to being on the same level as these athletes. It is also one of the most entertaining sports in the world, unlike soccer, where a bunch of fags run around a kick a ball for 3 hours.
Soccer Player-"Soccer is the most popular sport in the world!"
Football Player-"Shut the fuck up bitch, and suck this dick."
Soccer Player-"Yes sir.......
*Glaugh Blaugh Hauge*
Soccer Player-"Can I stop now sir?"
Football Player- *Beats the shit out of the little ho*
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Basically the footballer is the kid in school who plays football non-stop, wears his full uniform everywhere he goes (cleats included), but is for the most part a nice kid, gets along with everybody and is actually very intelligent once you get to know him. And yes, if he does have to wear other clothing it will be some basketball shorts, a t-shirt and some $100+ Nike Shox that he bought five years ago when he was still only wearing a size 15.
"He's trackin' mud all over our haulways with those dirty football cleats! Are those even allowed here?"
"It's ok, he's cool. He's a footballer."
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For anyone that calls AMERICAN Football "Gay" or "Slow" just look at this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta3Gi_AFTQg Football is a game of strategy, strength, and speed. Soccer is a game of who can run all over a field without passing out.
Football is the best game in the world
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- Dude, did you see footballer saturday??
- I knoww he's so hot!
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1) The most impacting phenomenon in humanity since Christianity. A 'sport' played all around the world. misnamed as 'soccer' most prominently in the U.S.A.
2) Misnaming Gridiron. A lesser discipline commonly misnamed as Football, instead being more related to rugby. A contact sport played most commonly in U.S.A. and Canada where around 11 men were big armors and tight pants and grapple each other in short intervals of 5 seconds. Usually to catch a breather and to show commercials.
- FIFA is a big mafia that has control over football all around the world.
- U.S.A. is the gayest country on Earth, that's why they enjoy their contact sports so much, for instance American Football.
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