relationship herpes

A toxic, viral relationship that infects you at the most inopportune moments, ugly and painful. It can affect all future relationships. The only known cure is death of the host or the virus. Whichever comes first

Hey dude, did you just run into your ex?

Yeah, my relationship herpes acted up. Ruined my dinner...

CV relationship

a relationship where two chidlers who hug one day, text each other ily that night, and then break up the next day

Jimothy: did you hear that Johnny and Emma broke up over text and NEVER talked to each other

Wion Zilliomson: watta CV relationship

platonic relationship

when you're in a relationship with someone but you don't have any "love" feelings for each other.

me: "parker and I are in a platonic relationship"
person: "so...... you're friends?"
me: "no we're in a relationship, it's the same as a "normal" romantic relationship, just with fewer feelings. Our attraction is somewhere in between friendship feelings and love feelings."

Another term for a platonic relationship is a queerplatonic relationship.

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platonic relationship

When a woman officially declares a man to be in her 'friend zone'.

Man: "I love you"

Woman: "I love you, too"

Man: *leans in for a kiss*

Woman: *magically turns it into a hug* "You're such a great friend."

Man: *is now in a forced platonic relationship*

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Complicated Relationship

A complitcated relationship is when two people flirt and have something going but aren't in a relationship for whatever reason.

Dude are you guys dating because you always post eachother. "No were kinda in a complicated relationship"

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Relationship Recession

Two consecutive periods of declining "GDP" - Gettin Dat Pussy.

Jack- "Me and the wife have had less sex these past two months than any time before."
John- "It sounds like you're in a relationship recession."

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real relationship

A real relationship is when you actually communicate with eachother. You don’t just randomly smirk when you see your girl/boyfriend in the hallway or in public. You talk to eachother. You share the things you like about one another and you love eachother enough to not judge their past mistakes.

Friend:“I want a real relationship”

Me: “Everyone does”

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