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Smitten Mittens, When you have to keep your hands in your pockets to keep them off the girl you're with. Especially helpful in the company of parental units and members of the clergy. Not very effective, considering your hands aren't safe in your pockets, see Pocket Pool.
She was so fine, when her Dad came home I had to put on my smitten mittens on to cover my intent, but I ended up all jorma taccone.
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The sexiest mother fucken' penguin around. Because of his shining shimmering YouTuber pin, he smashes all of the penguin ladies at ease. Penguins flock to his dick the moment he steps in the room, he's irresistible.
Blewberry02: Man I wish I was like Lost Mitten.
Clubby8911: I think we're going to have to do something about him, he steals all my coochie.
A cheese substitute founded by the Kraft family. Often included as dry powder in a box of pasta. A custard mitten is the term used for the leftover residue of tapioca gelatin that dries overnight inside a whore's vagina. Proteins are introduced and the mitten is pasteurized by General Custard. In the morning after the Custard's delivery, the mitten walls are scraped by the Kraft employees (like Keebler elves) to collect the flaky dry cheese powder alternative to be re-sold into Kraft grocery products.
"General Custard, I'm fucking hungry. Get your fingers out of the founding fathers, wipe my wife's ass off your glasses and get the fuck into the kitchen to whip me up a delightful custard mitten. You'll find my daughter waiting in the kitchen for your delivery."
Pronounced: Jiggly MEE-tshen
Definition: similar to "wet blanket." Specifically describes one who is difficult to travel with.
"I suggested we change our dinner reservations to meet our new male friends at the club, but Sally was a Jiggly Mitten and refused to cancel the reservation."
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When you finger bang a chick with a yeast infection
Did you hear that hoe lasagna gave orangejello cheesy mittens
woman's genitalia creating warming hand garment (cf: snatch)
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When a male has used a urinal and failed to wash their hands before exiting the bathroom.
I didnt want to shake his hand, he just came out of the toilet. He's likely to have dick mittens
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