Velcro Momma

When you glue a newborn to it’s Mom and RIP the apart.

Husband: I can’t wait to do the velcro momma to you when y’all are sleeping.
Wife: Gary, the baby hasn’t been with us for 19 years... get over it

kush momma

A female supplier of cannabis

My bud tender is also my kush momma! I prefer to get my bud from a kush momma, she’s way cool!

Yo momma

1) The scapegoat of all bad things. 2) The final retort to any shouting match. 3) Root of all evil.

"You gay dawg!"
"Yo momma!"

62👍 32👎

jo momma

(jo mäma)
n.
Variant of yo mama


1.)who i took home last night; my bitch.
2.)an insult that can be used at inappropriate times:

sito- Hey dre, what character did u pick?
dre- jo mama!

3.a person who engages in sexual activity with the opposite sex often:

I was with jo mama last night!

21👍 9👎

momma's boy

One who cannot make decisions for himself and has to have his mothers approval no matter right or wrong.
One who needs to hear from or see his mother on a daily basis and definately more then once.
One who will die at the same point and time his mother does because he simply cannot live without her and would be lost in his life as he does not have his mother directing him.
One who would slice the throat of his wife at his mothers request.
One who was born without a doctor present that did not cut the umbilical cord.

Calls mother for the fifth time in ONE day..."mommieeee can you come and wipe my patootie? I forgot how"!
What a momma's boy!

178👍 111👎

your momma

the subject of all jokes used by assholes when they have no other comeback.

guy #1-"Dude, stay away from me, your a dick!"
guy #2- *silence for a second*

guy #2-" Your momma!"
guy #1 as he walks away-"Douche"

29👍 13👎

Yo Momma

A crappy TV show on MTV that was hosted by another crappy actor. This show was about "battling" people (from other neighborhoods) with their stupid jokes about each others moms and other dumb crap to win prizes. MTV thought this show as so cool it made them feel smart.

Also a way to start off a joke.

Guy 1: Yo MOMMA loves Wonka Nerds so much, I told her I was a nerd and she started sucking me!
Guy2: What? What the fuck? I don't get you.
Guy 1:XD

53👍 29👎