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The captain of the Jewish gold reserves. Commonly seen stealing money from unsuspecting customers and insider trading. Rides a magic sleigh. Wears red robes and winter gear. Delivers presents. Is not Santa Claus.
(sees captain jew gold)
Jewish boy: Look it's santa!
(gets hit by rabbi)
Jewish boy: I mean, look it's captain jew gold!
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A look of self-satisfaction after just defeating your nemesis. Named after the legendary Captain Kirk.
Me: Everything I tell you is a lie. Now listen carefully.. I'm lying right now...
My last Date (who looks like she could have been a Stepford Wife): Error! Error! Does not compute.
I leave with a big captain kirk smirk as my date, who was acting like a total fucktard by not wanting to have casual sex with me starts emitting sparks and smoke from every orifice in her body.
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Often used as a funny comment in internet forums to criticize users who post in all capital letters.
User1: HELP ME WITH PROBLEM FOOBAR
User2: Ah, captain Caps Lock and the Shift Crew been here...
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A man willing and proud to sail the bloody waters of his mate's vagina.
Did you hear about Keith? He was the Greatest Captain of the Red Sea that ever lived.
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Someone who is such a Captain Obvious that you can just smack them in the face and rip their hair out.
Someone who doesn't understand when someone is using sarcasm or when to just shut the fuck up
Joe: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Billy Jean: "To get to the other side?"
Joe: "He didn't! He was too chicken!"
Billy Jean: "HAHAHA, that joke was so funny it's killing me!"
CAPTAIN FUCKING OBVIOUS: "Oh shit! She's dying someone get her a doctor!"
Billy Jean: "Hey Captain fucking obvious it was a joke you dumbass motherfucking shithead go suck a dick and choke and die on it."
A term for someone who wrongly believes that they are the toughest person on the planet. Usually seen wearing TapouT apparel and driving oversized pickup trucks with loud exhaust and underglows. Most likely either a very short guy that has an inferiority complex or a latent homosexual. Usually seen only in the company of other captain hard-asses
Did you see that jacked up truck with that scrawny guy driving it?
Yeah, captain hard-ass was behind the wheel wearing his TapouT shirt.
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When several individuals in an enclosed space fart simultaneously (or in rapid succession) to create one monster cloud of shit particles. By all powers combined the aggregate fart is stronger than its parts.
Trevor Ballard, Grogan Gammons, and Jackson farted in their Range Rover at the same time, it was a captain planet fart.
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