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A particularly scuzzy or grizzled beard. This beard is mainly attached to surly men on the management team.
That boy's got some babies stuck in that mook beard of his.
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boys have penises, girls have bearded axe wounds.
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A heroic viking who was on the verge of Godhood. Thor, fearing being usurped, erased his memories and cast him into the 21st century.
Confused and distraught, EBM had a troubled youth, before he found his calling and went to Nam' to kick Commie ass. He single-handedly pushing back the Tet Offensive and became basis for fictional heroes such as Rambo.
Alas, it was not meant to be, the hippies of the US united against him and he was forced to relinquish his gun and vow to never fight again.
For the next few decades the US continued to deteriorate around him. EBM, being a incarnation of justice, could stand this no longer. A worthless mortal, clearly unaware of the might of the EBM, crossed him, and was promptly obliterated by EBM.
EBM spared that mortal's life and walked off the bus, leaving his groceries behind. Why did he even need groceries? Not once in his life did he ever need to eat, nor has he ever felt thirst, pain or the urge to sleep. EBM has tried his entire life to be a normal man, but he was tired of that facade. He was determined to find out what he truly was. That day, he walked off the bus, a God.
EBM was not the only immortal on the scene. Freyja, watched the event unfold through the eyes of Amber Lamps. Outwardly, her expression never changed, projecting an aura of indifference. Inwardly however, she was aflutter with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. She could not discern what it all truly meant, but one thing was for certain; Thor's days were numbered.
The Epic Beard Man will rise again.
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(n.) Beer-did bich-tit
The limpid, pale, hair-covered mammaries of a bearded male-bitch who has been suckled too long by his mother, thus resulting in him exhibiting a pussy-like demeanor when placed in any social situation.
See under: bitch, pussy, tit, hairy, beard
Emily: Ughh I can’t take Raffi’s whiny ass anymore!
Dara: For fuck’s sake he needs to stop being such a bearded bitch-tit and grow a pair.
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A large, 67-year-old, bearded white male with exceptional fighting skills. Seen on a viral YouTube video wearing a fanny pack, black baseball cap, and light blue t-shirt with "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" printed on the back.
On February 16, 2010 a video was posted on YouTube showing a fight on a transit bus. The video begins with Epic Beard Man asking an unknown African American male (hereafter known as "Tyrone") to spit shine his shoes. Tyrone took offense to the request and a verbal argument ensued. After several moments of intense verbal sparring, Epic Beard Man moved to the front of the bus. The two men continued arguing and threatening each other, prompting Tyrone to leave his seat and approach Epic Beard Man. Several passengers were able to persuade Tyrone to avoid physical confrontation. As Tyrone returned to his seat, Epic Beard Man exclaimed, "I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" This statement angered Tyrone who swiftly approached Epic Beard Man and attempted to strike him in the chest. Epic beard Man deflected the blow and delivered a powerful jab that stunned his attacker. Epic Beard Man then proceeded to unleash a barrage of punches upon Tyrone and left he bleeding and slumped against a seat. Epic Beard Man quickly exited the bus and Tyrone is seen bleeding profusely from the nose. When asked if he was alright, Tyrone simply said, "Bring da ambalamps."
It is believed that Epic Beard Man is the son of the Greek hero, Hercules.
"I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" - Epic Beard Man
"VIETNAM!!! VIETNAM!! YEEEAAAARRGHHH!!!" - Epic Beard Man
"Epic Beard Man is my hero."
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When you get a blumpkin in a porta- potty and you drop a deuce and the blue water comes up and hits your girl in the chin!
While at the construction site, my girl snuck into the porta-potty with me and gave a blue bearded blumpkin!
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(n) Not to be confused with the Hipster Beard, or the Charles Manson Beard, the American Taliban Beard is a full beard worn with a shaved head.
Named after John Walker Lindh, the "American Taliban" homegrown terrorist who is serving a 20 year sentence for joining the Taliban and fighting against the US in Afghanistan.
Muslim men who are performing the Hajj to Mecca and Jihadis who are planning to commit suicide bombings often shave their heads, but leave their beards so that they are clean when they ride the magic carpet to Allah and their 72 virgins.
The American Taliban Beard is the laziest haircut a man can have. Never have to comb your hair & never have to shave.
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