Suicide Wank

When you're having a wank, just before blowing the load, shout out "Mom" or "Dad", then try and finish the job before they get into your room!

Me: Jerking off
Brain: Suicide wank time
Me: "Mom! Dad! come here and quick!"

24👍 24👎

Brown Wank

Masturbating whilst taking a shit

15👍 13👎

Tit-Wank

also known as tit ride

wow her tits were so big i had to give her a tit ride

15👍 12👎

WANK LOADS

An awful lot of something

I couldn't believe it! Julie came home with absolutely wank loads of shopping

13👍 11👎

Wank Stain

A derogatory term to indicate the subject is as bad as a mark left post masturbation. Therefore something not to be bothered about

"Don't worry about him he's just a wank stain'"

3👍 1👎

Wank Baton

A wank baton is when a group of friends take it in turns to masturbate over internet porn. The first person decides the porno and wanks over said porn until cumming, he then has to tag the next friend in, who has to wank over the same porno and spunk within the defined time of that skin flick. Failure to cum within the given time frame will result in the baton being dropped and a forfeit decided by everybody who has already shot their love gravy.

Dave started the wank baton, but the bastard chose a 2 minute porno. He managed to cum but when Jordan was handed the baton he masturabated so furiously that he snapped his banjo string

3👍 1👎

Wilder-wank

Having a wank in the countryside, it’s a bit like dogging but you do it by your self

*out camping* “mate, il be back in 10 mins, just off for a wilder-wank”

3👍 1👎