heads i win, tails you lose

An annoying trick that your best friend likes to pull on you, hoping that you won't realize that both outcomes are in their favor

Let's flip a coin, heads I win, tails you lose

24👍 3👎

I will choke you with your own asshole!!!

A threatening statement that is so profoundly impossible that it will both amuse, confuse and terrify its recipient.

If you make that annoying noise again, "I will choke you with your own asshole!!!"

45👍 7👎

I can't believe you looked that up

My response to anyone who looked that up.

Seriously, I can't believe you looked that up...

72👍 13👎

I cant believe you have done this

Total disbelief, British style

ah fuck, I cant believe you have done this

33👍 6👎

I will put you through that fucking wall

A popular phrase used in 'F is for Family'.

**Frank:** I need you two to play nice, and don't get into any trouble. *(to Bill)* And I am putting you in charge of your sister today. You got that?

**Bill:** Yep.

**Frank:** Okay, if anything bad happens to her, I want you to call me at work. Okay, buddy?

**Bill:** Sure, dad.

**Frank:** Good. 'Cause then, I will come right home, and I will put you through that fucking wall.

14👍 1👎

10 things i hate about you

The best movie ever created. Modern (ok well not so modern. 90's) Recreation of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew".

I watch 10 things i hate about you at least twice a week.

195👍 59👎

I never promised you a rose garden

usually a response given after being blamed by someone for a situation that didn't live up to their lofty (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations.

Person 1: I can't believe I married you, this is not the life I signed up for!

Person 2: Oh yeah? Well, I never promised you a rose garden.

34👍 9👎