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Goon Mafia

Garrett Betty Conner Buster Smith

Garrett smith is goon mafia. It totally was his woods and Johnnys dick

by Aaron Mesey January 14, 2022


Canaanite Flicker Gooning

The sacred art of flicking one's penis or clitoris between strokes or rubs, altering between flicks and rubs. This achieves a rhythm so divine that it promises a state of unparalleled pleasure. The term draws inspiration from the biblical promise of the land of Canaan to Abraham—a covenant of fulfillment and maximum goon pleasure and volume.

In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.

Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.

Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.

USAGE 1:

Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!

James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?

USAGE 2:

Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.

Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.

Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.

by 000Six_Six000 December 11, 2024


Kung-Fu Goon

Kung-Fu Goon an old person who thinks the win and succeed in life fighting in chat rooms

Kung-Fu Goon is trolling people again and she’s a champion

by VileGay September 21, 2023


Poon Goon

Someone who claims to have sex with a lot of women, but in actuality spends most of his time trolling the internet, playing video games, or looking at porn so he can talk about the female anatomy.

Example 1

Friend 1: yo I got caught up in a threesome with two chicks the other night, it was great.
Friend 2: shut up man everybody knows you're a total Poon Goon.

Example 2
Guy: Hey girl, you wanna see why all the ladies get with me?
Girl: Oh please you are the biggest Poon Goon I've ever seen, salty lil' introvert!

by Johnny Tsunami Bro January 28, 2017


Poon Goon

someone who is always out to get laid, a pussy hound

Roger is always on the prowl. He's such a Poon Goon!

by Boo Koo Dinero May 6, 2018


Quadchin Goons

Old Pensioner with 4 chins and a muffin top

That old Quadchin Goons can use her chins as a scarf

by VileGay September 23, 2023


goon-show

A shower in which a male goons, then uses his semen to cleanse himself instead of soap

My boy decided to take a goon-show after school, choosing to not get on the game

by SkibidiWolvegoon420 January 14, 2025