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Random
A thing most black parents say when their kid is misbehaving either in public or at home
Mom: Go do the damn dishes its been 3 hours
Child: Why do i have to listen to you?!
Mom: Well I put you in this world and I can take you right outta it
Uttered by someone when they are forced to cut more lines than originally planned when they pour too much speed or coke out of the bag... usually not accidentally.
Wow those are Motley Crue sized...... Yeah I oops'd
Another way of saying "No, really" or "Yeah, for real". It basically means you agree with someone's statement.
Person 1: Today is so cold I'm literally wearing two sweaters.
Person 2: No I know, it's so cold I'm actually thinking about wearing two pairs of socks.
A statement that turns into the corniest thing a teacher could say, and every teacher has said it once.
Student: Ms, can I use the restroom?
Teacher: I don't know, CAN YOU??
Student: Ugh, May I use the restroom
Teacher: No.
It’s not that I don’t give a shit about your problems... it’s just that my dick... it’s too small! I try to care but just before I get there my little pee pee just doesn’t reach!
Hym “See... I-wish-my-daughter-was-never-born guy decided to talk shit about a guy who (literally) WROTE A SHIT-TALKING BIBLE OF WHICH I AM THE LITERAL SHIT TALKING GOD. So, here we go! He wishes his daughter was never born but his youngest child WASN’T born because the girl he was dating got an abortion. Now that generally causes a lot of couples to break up, and they did break up, but that isn’t why they broke up! No. It was just that after the ABORTION she just.... well.... got real distant and... you know.... I don’t know... But it wasn’t the fact the she didn’t want to be with him long term so desperately that she was willing to KILL AN ACTUAL CHILD so that she wouldn’t have to be with him. It couldn’t be that he’s worthless and will never accomplish anything (and she could tell that by sleeping with him). It also couldn’t be that the only thing good about him can be measured in inches. And even that wasn’t enough to stop his baby mama from wanting other dicks.
if you say this, you are, in fact, gay
ella- if i were gay, i would totally date her, she’s so hot and i love her personality, she’s just so awesome
me- ella, you’re gay
The act of being tenderly sodomized by a well mustachioed man.
Last night, Thomas drove us out to the beach where we spilt a case of Coops beer and then he gave me the 'Magnum G. I.'