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i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me

I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.

Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?

Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.

Isaiah: ...
Me: ...
Isaiah: yeah, same.

by MrDrEdward October 31, 2021

15๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


knock knock. who's there? a mirror. i am lonely. :(

an asdfmovie animation about a guy who tells himself a knock-knock joke while looking at a mirror then claims he is lonely.

asdfmovieguy: knock knock. who's there? a mirror. i am lonely. :(

by the everybody do the flop guy September 25, 2020

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Why am I awake at 3AM looking at Urban Dictionary?

Dude, Why are you here? Go to bed. If you have reached this point, abandon all hope.

Why am I awake at 3AM looking at Urban Dictionary?

by B R R R R R R R April 25, 2022


I am a lesbian bird caw caw caw caw

When your best friend tells you that they are lesbian and then starts screaming caw caw caw caw.

Hazel ( over text) : WHAT DO YOU WANT
Emily: I AM A LESBIAN BIRD CAW CAW CAW CAW

by thelesbionbirdforlifeperson January 14, 2020

9๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


i am in pursue of knowledge that pertains to the individual that goes by Joseph

A fancy way of saying who is joe

Guy 1: i am in pursue of knowledge that pertains to the individual that goes by Joseph
Guy 2: Joseph Mother

by yupit'shim March 25, 2021

5๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor!

When you ask your neighbor for some sugar, and really you just want them to come over to have some sticky sweaty sex, or make some sweet, sugary love.

"Hey there... I have a huge favor to ask..."
"Sure, what do you need?"
Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor!
"I'll be right over with some C&H!"

by JeenaMarz August 8, 2017

16๐Ÿ‘ 23๐Ÿ‘Ž


I am yet to meet someone who can outsmart bullet.

A timeless line

"I am yet to meet someone who can outsmart bullet."
-Heavy

by Mr.FurnaceFace December 3, 2019

12๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž