Random
Source Code
Random
When a turd just pokes its head out but then gets sucked right back in a seeming vortex because of the speed with which it moves.
I tried to take a dump after lunch today but all I got was a scared turtle. Now I'm constipated.
23👍 42👎
Having a man lay flat on his back while having a erection, then the lover of the man stomps on it causing the penis to retract like q turtle's head
"please oh god turtle dicking me daddy!~"
4👍 5👎
Similiar to a mudslide, only instead of a body part you slide your shitty ass on, your target is an automobile.
That son of a bitch took my parking spot again, so I turtle waxed his piece of shit Honda.
4👍 4👎
Two hard hats hitting, usually used in joke form with a new kid, or soft handed man, new to wearing a hard hat.
Joker: Dude, have you ever seen a turtle fuck?
Jokee: No, why?
Joker: Do you know what it sounds like?
Jokee: No, what?
Joker hits Jokee's hard hat with his own.
10👍 15👎
A sexual act involving two un-circumsized males in which one male pulls his foreskin over the other's penis, after which point the roles may be reversed. Also known as "The Chinese Penis Trap".
Doug and I spent last night turtle necking.
24👍 45👎
When a guy mouth fucks a girl so hard, he snaps her neck.
Man, I knew Tyrone's monster cock was going to give her the snapping turtle sooner or later.
27👍 54👎
A girl who grew up in a trailer park that's cute, but only because she's completely fake and covers herself in make-up. She's a 9.5 at night, but a 6.3 in the morning. You never want to bring this girl home to mom. Probably has a couple STD's and been scraped several times. Only has sex on the first night and is out of place in most social settings. You can never take the trailer park out of her.
G: TJ just met that trick at the bar and went to her double-wide for some fun tonight.
T: Which girl?
G: The one in the hooters t-shirt and Dale Earnhardt hat with the baby in her arms.
T: That girl is such a mud turtle.
G: Well, TJ is known as the mud turtle rancher.
15👍 24👎