Is your asshole jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?

An epic burn. Practice so it will roll right off the tongue and and use when people are drinking so that there will be maximum nasal spewage for effect.

loser: blah blah blah...

cool person: Is your asshole jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?

24👍 5👎

So you got it all figured out, do you?

When someone has owned you to max!

Peter: -You knew that I changed my will and left everything to the record, and that's why you wanted the record out of the way. Meg wanted a passport for her twin sisters to get her outta the country but the record wouldn't allow it. But Meg didn't count on me discoverin' that she has no twin sister and that Meg herself was recently released from the sanatorium and that's where Chris came in to the picture!

Chris: - So you got it all figured out, do you?

31👍 10👎

make like a hockey stick and get the puck out of here

a term used to excuse yourself out of a conversation

hey i hate to leave but i gotta make like a hockey stick and get the puck out of here.

k see ya

35👍 10👎

slam me across to wall Nd slut me out

It’s when they treat you like a slut you really are 😁

Gg:“I wish he would slam me across to wall Nd slut me out”

Aishat: “girl I wish he would just slam me tf to the wall and chock me hard and kiss me everywhere 😩”

48👍 16👎

get flushed down a toilet and come out in a new suit

1. A person who "looks" wealthy, acts wealthy and most people think he is wealthy but in reality it's all pretend.

2. A person who "looks good" no matter what they do. They come out on the winning end all the time.

He's so smooth and such a player he could get flushed down a toilet and come out in a new suit!

i wouldnt kick her out of bed if she farted

A way to describe a girl who may not be the hottest chick around but is still pretty good, can also describe an object which does the job

Dude 1: So what do u think of lisa?
Dude 2: I mean I wouldnt kick her out of bed if she farted but I'd probably go her sister

37👍 13👎

to put one's smoke out in someone else's ice cream

1. To be much better at something than someone else
2. To diss someone so thoroughly that no comeback is possible

to put one's smoke out in someone else's ice cream:
1. Rickie Lee Jones puts her smoke out in Edie Brickell's ice cream (thanks to lexicondevil at The Onion AV Club)
2. That queen tried to diss my outfit, but then I totally put my smoke out in her ice cream.

12👍 3👎