Rural Dictionary

Escalante Valley

A large rural valley in southern Utah mostly filled with incestual inbreds, almost everyone is related by blood, and everyone is related by marriage.

It's an area plagued by MAGA and uneducated people, a place where uncle's rape their nieces and get away with it under the protection of the LDS Church.

Unsustainable agriculture is also popular here, people grow the most water-intensive plants for cows who live on the other side of the world, rather than organizing and growing Food for People. These people are facing a pending aquifer collapse and they don't even realize it.

On the weekends the good ol' boys will go out driving onto the dirt roads, getting shit-faced while killing, rabbits chiselers, coyotes or anything that move. They always make sure to toss their beer cans and liquor bottles out into the sagebrush so the wives don't know that they were drinking when they get home. Meanwhile when all the good old boys are romping around, the housewives are popping opiate tabs to deal with their suicidal depression from being objectified by the LDS church and their husbands.

Every Sunday these "good" people have the opportunity to return to church and repent for their sins.

In Escalante Valley many men live by the value system of rape, repent, repeat again.

I'm going to Escalante Valley to shoot some chiselers.

by BdogW February 9, 2019

Cache Valley Mormon

Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that live in Cache County, Utah. Arguably the worst Mormons out there due to their rampant level of incest and cheapness.

Dude 1: Dude look at this chick I matched with!
Dude 2: Yeah right dude, she's a Cache Valley Mormon.
Dude 1: No way, she's fine!
Dude 2: Sure if you like shopping at Walmart and hanging out at the Fun Park...

by Big Camp June 6, 2022

Shiva Valley

A potential wedding venue that radiates an enchanting aura coupled with delicious trance

"I can't wait to get married at Shiva Valley...on a Tuesday"

by Anush June 20, 2020

valley claw

The Valley Claw is a gesture that resembles a wave but with a bit of a flick in the wrist... once you see it, you know. This gesture is done to wave hello, let someone into traffic, etc. It can be witnessed all across the friendly Ottawa Valley.

Driver 1 sees Driver 2 pull out of the Tim's drive thru, waiting to merge into traffic. Driver 1 makes eye contact and tosses the Valley Claw to alert Driver 2 to go ahead into traffic ahead of Driver 1.

by whitewater2000 November 3, 2017