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Captain Kirk Award

A very rare award that will only be given out once in human history, to a single person, and never again. This person will permanently hold the title for all of eternity, and be remembered as a hero to mankind.

This great honor shall be bestowed upon the very first human being to have sex with a sentient alien life form.

Convincing another human to fuck you is hard enough, but to be able to overcome a cultural and language barrier of an entirely different species and STILL convince one of them to fuck you is the pinnacle of finesse and game.

(Captain Kirk is the protagonist of the famed Star Trek series, and is known for gallivanting across the galaxy and gettin' the honeys.)

In the year 2199, Commander Larry Shepard of the United Earth Space Navy made first contact with the first known sentient species of extraterrestrials in the galaxy: the Shag-Shag.

This feat pales in comparison to Shepard's next accomplishment: earning the Captain Kirk Award by seducing the royal princess, thus becoming the first human being to have sex with an alien.

The war that followed was brutal, and brought our two races to the brink of extinction. It turns out that in Shag-Shag culture, a girl's parents must be present during intercourse. Not doing so is a major taboo in their culture. However, despite this chaos, you cannot deny that Commander Shepard has some fuckin' game.

by Mana Banana June 16, 2019


Captain Tight Pants

AKA Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds of the vessel Serenity. Known for being particularly dour, with a harsh sense of humour. Although he finds it difficult to open up, it's obvious that he's a good guy beneath it all. Portrayed by Nathan Fillion on the now-cancelled sci-fi show Firefly which lasted just one season on FOX from 2002 to 2003. The nickname was first coined by the character Kaylee in the episode "Shindig".

An affectionate word used by Firefly fans to refer to the character of Mal, and (more rarely) the actor Fillion with reference to the show.

Example 1 -

Mal: Just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to buy that frippery, and you're supposed to make me look respectable.

Kaylee: Yes, sir, Captain Tight Pants

Example 2 -

Fan: There was a rumour that Captain Tight Pants himself would turn up at that convention last week!

by Neroli April 21, 2008

279๐Ÿ‘ 124๐Ÿ‘Ž


Captain America Card

In the Game of Rape, The Capt. America Card, or Captain, is the King of Hearts. His awesomeness is unsurpassed. The Captain has the power to perform a Rape Combo on any card, albeit it is considered bad form to play the Captain on the SC Card (He has standards, afterall).

The Captain is also an integral part in the coveted Caledonia Combo.

SHA-ZAM! The Captain has owned you bitch! Try to Dave me will ya!

by Rape Player July 5, 2004

14๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Captain Tying Knots

(n.) Man who possesses the capabilities of tying any kind of knot at any point in time upon request. If anybody needs a knot tied they go to him.

Don't ask me how to tie a sheep shank knot, ask Captain Tying Knots.

by BMont October 29, 2010

11๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


nigatize me captain

nigga tize me captain means ..... making the cereal captain make you black.

thomas - fuck , if only i were black.

joe - well then call the captain.

thomas - nigatize me captain

by dirty penis November 17, 2007

22๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Captain Pussy Fucker

Legendary llama of the Half-Life modification "Team Fortress Classic" well-known for his binds i.e. "take that ya son of a bitch" and known for being banned off almost every TFC server as of 2005.

Captain Pussy Fucker, please stop teamshooting.

by Chuck Bronson April 3, 2005

78๐Ÿ‘ 31๐Ÿ‘Ž


Captain Save a Bitch

When someone tries to jump into a situation and be the hero, when it is completely unnecessary.

Justin tried to be Captain Save a Bitch when I put Lauren on blast for stealing my Atari games.

by quest224 July 18, 2009

22๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž