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A man who becomes sexually aroused while giving a woman oral sex;
often sought by legions of college females
A: Oh, he's in a Ska band, what does he play?
B: Let's just say he's a Crumpet Trumpet.
A: Mandy's gonna want his number..
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The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.
A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"
"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
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When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
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A very sexually desirable and attractive person.
I haven’t seen him all weekend. He’s got a new bit of Cock crumpet.
A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.
Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.
A nice “bit of crumpet” who is gourmet in her sexual flexiblitly: in particular, receiving pleasure by watching and facilitating her man in to a ménage a trois. And/or is orally fixated.
.oh Mella ..shes amazing and loves watching me fuck other girls and joining in just at the right moment to get us all to cum at the same time... she really is Gourmet Crumpet.