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The Praetorian guards were a force of bodyguards used by Roman emporers early on in the Roman Empire. Praetorians were not very good at they're job as they managed to kill off more emporers themselfs than they managed to protect, until one day an emporer, Constantine I, got the brilliant idea of disbanding the guard before they assassinated him too.
1: "how are we going to assassinate the emporer"
2: "don't worry his Praetorian Guard's have already done him in"
1: "..."
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Sexy, Nerdy Eyeglasses on a woman. Also handy for giving oral sex, it wat keeps the splooge out your eyes.
"Hey, Bro... who's the babe wearing the red splooge guards?"
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In basketball, the one that runs the offense and the one that usually lacks in points, yet is high in assists.
That point guard has 15 assists and 5 points.
This point guard cannot run an offense and should be moved to shooting guard.
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On a modern bicycle, the rear gears (called a cassette) are separated from the spokes of the rear wheel by a plastic disc. The purpose is a preventative measure if the chain slips off into the wheel, the spokes are not destroyed; which keeps the rider safer from injury. However, if the limits on the derailleur are adjusted correctly, this should never be an issue. Typically, the plastic discs are removed from a newly purchased bike, else the cyclist will be considered a newbie or noob by colleagues.
Mr. Spandex: "You haven't removed your noob guard yet?"
New Biker: "Isn't it there for a purpose?"
Mr. Spandex: "It's just extra weight!"
1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).
Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
When you want something to not be found so you shit near or on object to deter someone from finding it.
Yo butter cheeks is guard-dogging the hennesy his mom will never find it!
Another name for eyeglasses. Also used to prevent ejaculation from entering eyeball, causing temporary blindness, and uncontrollable laughter.
Those chicks at the table are looking at us, lets go talk to them.
Ok, I'll take the one with the cum guards.
Cool.